In my office...again. I am about to go home to pack some things up and go stay with my mother at her house. I think getting away from the masses of people surrounding me may be good for me.I just talked to my councilor on the phone for a moment and told her about coming off of some of the different prescriptions. She told me that sometimes emotions can be brought up from that. I told her about how my psychiatrist told me that I may have bipolar disorder and I may want to try some mood stabilizers. I am not sure how i feel about this quite yet. I am just getting used to Xanax, something I don't wish to be on forever.  Last night I took the 10mg of Valium that Dr Davis had told me to and I sleep like never before. In fact I slept through my first class. lol. However, I still woke up at several times during the night and ate. Is it weird that I wake in the middle of the night and I eat large amounts of food and then wake up and vomit? Well yes I suppose that would be. It is concerning to me that my bulimia has resurfaced. It makes me feel so good when it is done though. During the process it is like a work out, it takes an immense amount of strength to make myself vomit and then to keep vomiting. I usually drink a lot of water during the day and before and after meals, that always help everything come out easier. I don’t know why I am talking about something so personal and disgusting with such strangers. I think it may just simply be because I have nowhere else to turn, no one else to talk to.  This is the only place that I feel safe expressing myself fully.Last night in a panic I e-mailed my professor, telling him that I have been going through these problems and asking him for an extension on my exam that will be on Thursday. He wants a note from a doctor verifying this. I see my councilor tomorrow and I will ask her to write something for me to bring to him for I am so deprived of the passion to work anymore. I don’t know where this loss has come from. I hope that staying with my mom will allow me to finally regain my strength and confidence in life. I have become increasingly apart from the world around me. When I go into my apartment I close the door and feel the privacy and I like that. When I go to my office I close my door and feel the privacy and when I go to class all I do id try my hardest to concentrate on the professor.  That is what makes me nervous about going home...to my mother's house is that I may not be alone. One of the persons that know me the best will be there with me and she will see what and who I am. I don’t want her to judge all and me like she already has I want/need right now is a safe and comfortable place to be. Is that place the dorm or the home?