I can't believe that I slept through my first class. I feel all over the place. I got some messages from people and I wanted to clairify what I mean when setting and meeting my goals. It is not that i have me them and I have now fallen into a state of depression, howeer, it is the fact that I am in constatnt competition with myself and i dont know what the next step up is. What do I do from here to better myself from what I have done in the past? I feel as though I have hit m peak, atleast until i get our of undergraduate school and into law school. I hope. It takes a lot of ambition to do this and I am hoping that if I give myself some room right now that it will be ok in the end, because during the next half of this semester and the following semester and year I will be able to regain my strength and be the person i once was. I am really feel odd though. To day is an off day and it may be because of the change in medication, but I am on Xanax three times a day and then Valium to get me to sleep. The doctor told me that he would no longer be able to treat me because of the magnatude of my situation and I am nw left to see a psychitrist (sp). They made me an emergency appointment yesterday and I was able to see her. She was the one that upped my meds and i hope that in the future she will be able to hep in different ways as well. I am going to call my councilor today and see if my appoint can be moved up to this afternoon. I really need to  talk to someone before this gets worse. I vomitted twice last night and once already this morning. I hope it is not becomming a rutine.