all my things are related as i was raped by a boyfreind which is how i became pregnant and all of that alog with every  day stress just piled up ontop of me is when i started to self harm that was a year a go and i have mananged to cope with the rape and the miscarrage well miscarrages iv had 2 the second was harder as my boyfreind decided i was to get rid of it so he smacked me in the stomock till i miscarried and even tho they were hard at first but gradually got better i still have relapses like when i see a child it sometimes makes me think that i could have been a mother  the self harming isnt any better as it seems the only way to make me feel better i cant find aything to replace it and it upsets me when i do it i feel like a failier anyway thats my journal entry for today