I don't know what to say about today.  I think I should lock my journals after I write this one.  At least until I feel better.  I think I have multiple problems.   I think it's more than depression, anxiety, loneliness, ect.  I think I am no longer able to let the past be the past, and am confusing reality  and the now with the past.  I am angry and angry and then I get confused.  I have not smoked or drank, but I think that I will eventually.  I can't live this way.  I mean this can't be the way it's going to be for the rest of my life.  I am so unhappy and even writing in this journal is no longer helping.