I don't know why I've been so depressed lately.  I mean it's this feeling of hopelessness that keeps with me.  It's the stomach ache of anxiety overtaking me that won't go away. 
I guess it's been 18 days since my last cigarette.  I went off the Chantix and I have a feeling that that is why the depression.  So, tonight I did something that I haven't done in at least 22 years or at least since high school I went jogging.  I took the dog for a walk and after a while I just started a slow but steady jog.  I've been afraid to jog because of my smoking & panic attacks.  When my heart beats too quickly I get very scared.  Usually when I do get a panic attack, my heart rate goes to 150 bpm and I can't get it to stop.  Weird but tonight I didn't care.  I just kept jogging.  My dog was loving the nice quick stride and by the time we got home, I actually wore him out for a change.  Aww poor Charlie, but at least he got some real exercise. 
I have wanted to jog for so long.  Probably as long as I have wanted to quit smoking.  But there was no way I was going to smoke and jog.........that's really asking for a heart attack.
Well back to my depressed mood, as the exercise only lifts my mood for so long.  Those damn endorphins.