Ok, day 3.  First I'll write about last night.   I had what you would call an almost relapse.  Yes, I know I shouldn't have cigarettes in the house while trying to quit, but I did have 1/2 pack left from when I quit.  So as my craving grew and grew, I just  yelled out to my one son to come into the room.  He comes running in and I hand him the 1/2 pack.  I told him to hide them and when he gets a chance give them to his father to get rid of.  I don't know why I couldn't get rid of them........I just couldn't.  So when the craving finally went away (after I consumed a bag of chips) I was ok.  I know I shouldn't eat when I have a craving, but I'm under weight and for now I figure it's better than smoking.  My cravings don't seem to go away very quickly.  They take about a 1/2 hour, so my temptation is just unbelievable. 
 
Like I said from day 1, all I need to do is make it through day 4 and I should be good.  This is much harder than it was to stop drinking and like I tell everyone, I was a really bad drunk.  But I think the medicine during detox was a blessing, as well as God being there.  There doesn't seem to be a detox from smoking.  I mean let's face it, I'm on Chantix and I'm still getting cravings.  I think that if you really are having a hard time with quitting smoking, then they should have an actual detox center.  This is a very serious addictive drug that kills you, just the same as every other drug except that this one is "legal". 
 
It's funny because I never thought nicotine was a drug.  I always told my kids that I didn't do drugs.  Then one day they went on a field trip to, oh I forget the name and they learned all about drugs and addiction.  They even got to put gloves on and hold and feel a smokers lung (ewwwww) Anyway, they got home and told me that I was a drug addict, just a legal one.  I felt horrible.  Now I look at cigarettes in a different light, and I see how hard it is for a person to stop because that is what I'm going through right now.  I am glad thought that my kids get to see me go through it.  I hope it will be a lasting memory to them about addiction.
try and write more later.

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deleted_user

Wow! I am sooo greatful for your Journal Entries!! They help me so much. I am on day 6 almost to day 7 and I am having a hard time. Me Im different, the first 3-4 days for me every time I quit (which is many many many times already) are \"free\" I actually get a giddy high and enjoy the first 3-4 days!! Then I hit reality and thats where I am now. the lies in my head I have to be constantly vigilant every second of every day!! Writing wrting writing is a great tool, but man sometimes reading is great too. I am sooooo routing for you!!!!! I feel like you and I are already quit buddies allthough I have not properly asked you yet, so I ask you now, will you be my quit buddy?? Can we talk on the phone? Can we be there for eachother to make sure we dont smoke? Let me know!
Peace and Love,
Allison