3 things
i don't really want to write - it's kind of painful
3 things:
I am starting to question my conscience when I start to have
bitchy tirades down a rabbit hole - and I am learning to say to myself
'hey what the heck am I doing?'
Also I've realized that emotional fragility is something everyone has -
each person may not be able to be 100% for every conversation
and so I am realizing that framework of my personal frailty
and the other - gives me such access to friendship family and love
I am also starting to let myself dream - it doesn't last long
but it has been some great moments - of just letting part of my mind
go somewhere else while doing things like "chopping eggplant in silence'
during meal prep -
I am seeing how we may all feel kind of tenuous - and insecure about
our place in the world...and so it's important to shake that off
and love love love the special people and animals in my liffe.
I did choose to come here - and I have my suspicions that
they might rebuke me - but that's paranoia -
I only want to emphasize here that I made the decision and I made
the leap to come here - and even though I am not 100%at times and more
social than most - if I were to fall on my sword and leave - that is something
my insecurity would tell me to do in nearly every situation - so I am NOT going
to do that. :) heh I am doing good enough here - I hope.
Replies
and while you are doing the royal wee wee, you are deflecting the yaddahs of the blahs which have your insecurity to fall on your sword. i'll betcha dollars to wishes you are going through those deflected yaddah blahs in first person singular.
aside. . .
use of the royal wee wee always triggers me back to the royal buttheads who always coach their unreasonable expectations in the third person plural. it always brings out my authority issues. piss off, royal wee wee.
I have a lot of pain now on a regular basis Mark and believe me I feel bitchy too much of the time
It's a struggle sometimes not to let it out
We all have human frailties sweetie
Big squishy hug...xo
Thank you Arfie and thank you Jan. It’s such a great thing that we can have and get frailties and be bitchy yet that it is not the whole of our relationship with each other.