3 more sleeps and sad
I am sitting here annoyed with myself. I have done next to nothing today except eat. I generally dislike sweet stuff but I had bananas, yoghurt and caramel sauce for a bed time snack. It sounds fairly healthy but I put waaaay too much sauce on it.
I have no desire to go walking and I am just blah. Perhaps it is because we are almost packed. Since we are in the depths of winter and we are going to a warm climate, we could pack up most everything last week.
Tomorrow, we will clean the house, take books back to the library and do some of the last minute odds and ends. Tuesday we will do the final packing and tying up the back packs. Our flight leaves at 6:30 am so we have to be at the airport about 2 hours before. We won't be getting much sleep - but that is okay because we don't usually sleep much the night before a flight anyway.
I have been thinking about Lisa a lot. I got an email from her friend today - she said she often thinks about Lisa and wonders what life would have been like if the surgery had been successful. I often wonder about that too. I am trying to be positive and thankful but some times it is really not easy.
I am happy that Andrew got a full time job doing what he loves to do - write. He will be writing for a video game company. He is excited and nervous. He hasn't had a 'real' job for several years. He starts tomorrow. Then I think that Lisa would be so excited for him!! So it seems like everything is bittersweet.
Time to get of the pity pot, pull up the big girl pants and carry on. I am sure I will be fine when we are on our way.
Lisa: You would be so happy for Andrew. After he called I was about to pick up the phone to call you. I miss you always and love you forever.
I have no desire to go walking and I am just blah. Perhaps it is because we are almost packed. Since we are in the depths of winter and we are going to a warm climate, we could pack up most everything last week.
Tomorrow, we will clean the house, take books back to the library and do some of the last minute odds and ends. Tuesday we will do the final packing and tying up the back packs. Our flight leaves at 6:30 am so we have to be at the airport about 2 hours before. We won't be getting much sleep - but that is okay because we don't usually sleep much the night before a flight anyway.
I have been thinking about Lisa a lot. I got an email from her friend today - she said she often thinks about Lisa and wonders what life would have been like if the surgery had been successful. I often wonder about that too. I am trying to be positive and thankful but some times it is really not easy.
I am happy that Andrew got a full time job doing what he loves to do - write. He will be writing for a video game company. He is excited and nervous. He hasn't had a 'real' job for several years. He starts tomorrow. Then I think that Lisa would be so excited for him!! So it seems like everything is bittersweet.
Time to get of the pity pot, pull up the big girl pants and carry on. I am sure I will be fine when we are on our way.
Lisa: You would be so happy for Andrew. After he called I was about to pick up the phone to call you. I miss you always and love you forever.
Replies
I was about to close out the internet for the night but saw one more e-mail. Don\'t beat yourself up for eating goodies. The banana was good for you and they are suppose to lift your mood. The sugar isn\'t so good for sleeping though. We all get those times when we over do it but the next day we repent. I am hungry now but it is late and I must hit the sack. We always miss them, any time, any day, every occasion or success. Hugs to you and safe travels. Peggy
It\'s not really a pity pot my friend....it\'s just the truth of \"it is what it is\" and sometimes what it is is real sucky!!
I\'m hopeful that once you board that plane you can leave some of the sadness and burden home and truly allow yourself to enjoy every moment of the fascinating and amazing trip you have planned. I look at my vacations now not so much a what I do for me, but what I do for Kala\'s mom.....you know. It puts it in a whole new light. I\'m giving a gift to Kala each time I allow her mom to smile and have fun. Mostly it works....
Love you!!
Maybe you just needed a rest day before you travel..enjoy,,hae fun,,be safe.
love ya!!
Congratulations for Andrew and I have no doubt that Lisa is thrilled for him. I suspect he had a hand in it as well.:)
We are having sub zero temps and it\'s been very hard on my spirits. It hurts to go outside and breathe in that frigid air so I\'m sure that has something to do with the blahs.
You will be on your way soon so please travel safely and create some new memories. What a spectacular experience this will be and Lisa is hitch hiking along of that I am certain.
I understand what you are describing dear Marlene, and it\'s just the ebb and flow of our lives now. I wish it weren\'t so yet it is so you are doing your best and that is good enough for today dear one.
Loving care and make sure all those odds and ends are taken care of so that you can SOAR into this new adventure. I\'m excited for you and can\'t wait to see the pictures that will be taken.
XO Joanie
Marlene, Congratulations to Andrew on the new job! I hope it is everything he wants it to be and more. I get the blahs too now but it is uderstandable. Maybe just the feeling of going away and how much richer it would be if you had Lisa physically here to share it with? I know sometimes I inadvertently still reach for the phone to share something with Ed and wow, there\'s a quick and painful reality to follow within a few seconds. Its very hard.
Try and soak in all the beauty on your vacation that you can. Safe travels and much understanding. Love to you and Lisa, Linda
Maybe you were just satisfying your \"inner child\" demands by eating \"the good stuff!\" Hope that once in that warmer climate, all \"cold\" will be back where it belongs...behind you, Marlene!
Picking up the phone to call our beloved is shared by many of us Moms, including myself...very sad-making at the remembrance...hope you feel better and be careful with your back while packing!
Love, Donna
Wow what a Great combo banana yogurt and carmel sauce, you sure you not pregnant HaHaHa!! Noooo, I know that feeling eating to many sweets gives us the Blahs, it sounds good though!! I never liked Bananas until a month ago, Erica came home for the holidays and she eats lots of bananas, So I decided to try one, it wasn\'t that bad, so the next day i ate one and it was pretty good, then i was eating at least 3 a day, lol...Thought i\'d throw that into the mix of things, HaHa!!
I am happy for Andrew for getting a job he will love so much. Lisa is differently watching over him, no doubt in my mind.. I know how much you miss Lisa and what a let down when you go to pick up the phone to tell her the good news and then the let down.. I do the same every so often, it really does suck!!! Just maybe when you thought of calling her, she was actually letting you know she had something to do with Andrews new beginning with his writting career...These little positive thoughts help don\'t they...
You Marlene and your hubby have a save trip... I bet those big girl panties are on now, lol..On your way to a warmer climate and loving it. I can see that beautiful smile of yours.. I can see you smiling just like you were in Utah!! Have a wonderful time!! XO Kelly
You always make me feel hungry!! So glad to hear about Andrew\'s new job - it\'s not so easy these days to find full time work doing something that you like.
Have a great trip - relax and enjoy the warmth! Joanna x
What wonderful news about your son Andrew. That sounds like such a fun job and will draw on his creativity. How great that is. Yes Lisa would be so proud.
Winter can bring all of us down and it makes watching our food intake more difficult, don\'t you think? The body wants to build up those fat cells to stay warm. It\'s natures way.
Only a few more days for till the trip, how exciting.
Sending love, Terry
Um I\'m thinking that the next time you need to share that little bed time snack! lol Love you lady. Oh one of the ladies at work had a bowl of maple leaf candy on her desk at christmas time, I took and handful and thought of you with every bite!
I love your bedtime snack. I have two squares of dark chocolate and a yoghurt. We need our treats sometimes. Even a nice trip is stressful. All changes are. I know you\'ll feel better once you\'re there. Please be kind to my friend, Marlene, she has lost her one dtr, very beloved child and misses her every day. love, Abby
(((((((BIG HUGS))))))))) I am so at that point too. Ordered a bunch of clothes while the price was 30% off, and none of them fit. Too big, too small, too cheap, no luck!!! I do almost everything except what I should be doing.
Congratulations to your son. I hope the people a friendly and nice and that the job has just the right amount of challenge to it.
Happy traveling, my gypsy friend,
Miss Stay at Home Forever,
Leda
Have fun on your trip. Here in FL I do not have a cold excuse. It was almost 80 today and in the morning it will be 43 then comes the wind chill factor so in my shoes thats cold, the high will only be 63 or so then on Sat it will be 75 for a high. If you want to be a snow bird you can stay for the winter and walk off your banana, yogurt and carmel on the beach LOL
Congrats to Andrew.....
Hugs Penny