3 Months now....

It's been a little over 3 months now since my bf - now EX bf - left me. It feels like it's been 3 years. I'm not sure if that means I've moved on, or if it's a " bad sign " since the time since he left seems to have been dragging at a snail's pace. Perhaps it's the later, I suppose, since if I've truly moved on then I wouldn't still be counting the days since he left. 

One thing that has surprised me, and I confess probably also stirred disappointment in me also, is that during these three months he hasn't called me even once. Of course I realize that my relationship with him is over, so there's no reason for him to call me. I'm simply going by how he's been in the past. During other times that we've been together - then split up for awhile - he would call me during the time we were separated. As much as some may think that I'm wanting him to call me in order to ask him to come back, that's truly not the case. I simply want to find out how he's doing, and if he's truly happy now, or not. As much as he stays in contact with so many other exgfs I assumed that he would stay in contact with me also, after he left. 

He did tell the woman he moved in with to tell me that he said... " I'm never going to contact her again, " but I suspected that either she lied about that, or he simply felt he " had to " say that because of her. I believe she probably pressured him into saying that. Regardless, this may change soon since I've recently noticed that suddenly she is NOT a listed FRIEND on his Facebook page. That has to have some sort of significant meaning, since she's been a listed Facebook Friend of his for years now. Along with her suddenly disappearing off of his Facebook Friend's list, he's recently added some old Facebook Friends / and - or exgfs that he hasn't had on there in a very long time. So to say that " something is up " I feel would be a definite understatement. Something is definitely going on in his personal life... some sort of chaotic situation. Yes, I know that it's none of my business anymore. I can't help it though, because I've always been curious about everything. When it concerns someone that's been a big part of my life for a very long time, I'm naturally very curious about how they're handling life without me. Borderline obsessive ? Yes, probably. lol ... Still, like I've said before about being curious about everything, sometimes I can't help getting fixated - and obsessive - about certain aspects of my life.

I've tried during these past three months, many times, through online messages and emails to get him to talk to me. Nothing I've said in any of my messages has stirred him to talk to me, yet. Is it because of what he had said at the beginning of these three months ? ... about " never contacting me again " ?,  OR is it maybe because the woman he's with has been watching his EVERY MOVE, MONITORING WHENEVER HE USES HIS PHONE, AND WHO HE'S CALLING ! This I think is a VERY VERY STRONG possibility ! The way I see it was probably this.... as soon as His " TRUE COLORS " started to show with Her, then She realized that She had to monitor His actions - WHO he's talking to, and WHAT he's saying to them. 

He's always had a " way " of covering up the FACT that he's a 100 % PLAYER, at least during the FIRST PART of a relationship ! 

But as soon as he starts to let his TRUE SELF... and ALL of his TRUE COLORS show through then that's when the woman he's with begins to realize what she's gotten herself into with him.

Bottom line in ALL of this is ... DO I still keep trying to reach out to him, to get him to TALK to ME, and be His Friend ?????? 

OR do I give up completely and TRY to stop my mind from obsessing over what he " might be " doing right now.... where he " might be ".. who he " might be " with.. etc... etc.. etc.. AND IF He'll finally CALL ME AGAIN ONE DAY... OR NOT ?!?!? 

I know what the sensible.... reasonable .. answer would be... 

That would be to give up on trying to get him to talk to me. But how do I do that when He left without even saying " Good Bye " ?! 

I had NO CLOSURE. ... The last time I talked to him on the phone before the day he left - ( while I was at my Dad's visiting him ) - he even reassured me that He WOULD BE HOME WHEN I GOT BACK FROM MY DAD'S ! ) ... LIAR... LIAR LIAR !!!! 

IF he had AT LEAST TOLD me he was going to be leaving me.... and gave me some sort of explanation as to WHY, then that would have helped me to move on.... like I should be doing now. 

But since he did NONE of those things.... I'm left with an empty void in my heart, and soul.... a hole filled with a thousand unanswered questions ! 

I'm NOT going to beg him to come back to me. Oh hell no ! I only want to be his Friend, and stay in touch with him. Is that really too much to ask for ? I don't see why it would be too much to ask for when he's stayed in touch with lots of Other Exgfs !