3 months
Jeff,
I can not believe that 3 months ago, I was in the hospital room with you after your successful heart procedure. You had eaten a little bit, sat on the side of the bed some, even moved to the recliner because you were tired of your hospital bed. We chatted about how much better you felt. You said that your heart felt different and you thought things were going to be better. We talked about your getting back to work before Christmas and how much you were looking forward to that. You had not worked since July and that was hard for you. You were always such the provider and worked harder than anyone I knew. About this time that evening, you were getting tired. You complained how your back hurt and were anxious to get something for the pain so you could get to sleep so you could wake up in the morning and hopefully get to go home.
I decided to stay at the hospital and just sleep in the chair next to you for the night.
Once again, you made a comment that you might not be coming home. And I was tired and a bit irritated with you for continuing to say that to me. I think I even got short with you.
Little did I know that you were right. In less than 7 hours, you would be gone.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow. It will be the 3 month mark of not having you with me. I still miss you so much and wish I could have you back with me. But I know you would be proud of me that I am not a total mess all day like in the beginning.
Love you baby.
Liz
I can not believe that 3 months ago, I was in the hospital room with you after your successful heart procedure. You had eaten a little bit, sat on the side of the bed some, even moved to the recliner because you were tired of your hospital bed. We chatted about how much better you felt. You said that your heart felt different and you thought things were going to be better. We talked about your getting back to work before Christmas and how much you were looking forward to that. You had not worked since July and that was hard for you. You were always such the provider and worked harder than anyone I knew. About this time that evening, you were getting tired. You complained how your back hurt and were anxious to get something for the pain so you could get to sleep so you could wake up in the morning and hopefully get to go home.
I decided to stay at the hospital and just sleep in the chair next to you for the night.
Once again, you made a comment that you might not be coming home. And I was tired and a bit irritated with you for continuing to say that to me. I think I even got short with you.
Little did I know that you were right. In less than 7 hours, you would be gone.
I am not looking forward to tomorrow. It will be the 3 month mark of not having you with me. I still miss you so much and wish I could have you back with me. But I know you would be proud of me that I am not a total mess all day like in the beginning.
Love you baby.
Liz
Replies
Hugs to you...we find ourselves wanting to push a return button to go back to those moments and redo them knowing what we know now...but it\'s ok he knows you love him and knew it them even if you were short...we are but human. Do something nice for yourself. Hugs, D
I am so sorry. I know reliving all of that is so hard. Three months seems like yesterday and a lifetime. I know. Hugs to you, Dawn
Hugs and well wishes as you come to the 3 month mark. Looking back is so hard, we get the \" if I had only done....I could have done this, I should have known that\" Yes a rewind button would be great. Be kind to yourself today and know that a lot of people are thinking of you and sending good thoughts and prayers. Hugs Jane
Thanks everyone. I think if I could just shake this cough I would feel better and not so down. But when you physically don\'t feel well on top of the loss, its hard.
It has helped me so much being a part of this site. You all are the part of my day I look forward to. Thank you all. Hugs, Liz
Remembering the last moments are forever haunting. Hope you get through this day with lifted spirits. Thanks, Kip.