3 months

My dear Luis today is 3 months that you are gone.  It feels like 3 years since I've heard your voice or saw your face.  I see you in my dreams.  You look real good in my dreams and I am thankful to God for that because your last days you look so frail and I didn't want that to be the memory that stayed with me I think God sends me this dream to let me know you are fine.  Unfortunately the ones that stay behind aren't  I still have this huge void in my heart and home.  I am an emotional roller coaster and people don't always get it.  They tell me I have to fight this and try to move on.  So I try not to burden anyone with my feelings when they ask how I am I say getting better I have some good moments throughout the day and bad ones.  I don't lose my faith in God that keeps me going.  As you know I also have mom who is 89 and not easy to deal with she has dementia and I can't go anywhere unless I get a sitter for her and you always helped me with her.  Well darling know that I am always here and you are still my soulmate they say that you are looking over me I hope so.  I have a lot on my plate. The biggest thing is missing you although you are in a better place I am not and I live with the thought of seeing you again when I meet my maker.  Our granddaughter is here this week which always helps.  Well Luis continue to rest in peace because you deserve it you were the best I guess God needed an angel and he took mine.
Your Broken hearted Lisa
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

My dear Lisa - As I read your journal, I have tears in my eyes and I know exactly how you are feeling. It\'ll be 3 months on August 4th that I lost my wonderful Mark and I miss him every minute. Somedays being able to talk to God and talk to Mark are the only things that keep me sane !!!

My Mom will be 92 on August 1 - and I have had to arrange for an adult care home for her. That was really difficult - and something that she and I battled about. It was so much harder without Mark here to talk to - I have to believe that it was smoother than it could have been because he was watching over me and helping.

I am thinking of you - and wishing you peace today. Hugs to you,
Chris
olisa2010
olisa2010

Thanks mom is 89 will be 90 soon.
God bless
deleted_user
deleted_user

Lisa...I had to put my Mom in a nursing home last Summer...she was in assisted living and when she ran out of money she was admitted to a nursing home. It was so hard to deal with my Mother and my husband was needing me to. I lost my husband in Nov. and I also miss him every day. I only wish I could dream about him....up to now I have only had one dream and in it he was leaving me for another woman. I figure that was my minds way of dealing with his death and his being gone...I do believe that some how he is with me and helps me make the right decisions..hugs Ellen
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you\'ll be fine. These waves of grief can hit us hard, but as long as we keep going it\'s progress. In time you\'ll look back with pride at all you\'re handling.
I also had a mom with dementia. She ended up being placed in a nursing home because she became violent. I wish you the best with all you have to deal with. Sharon