3/24/2013
A little bit better today but still so low. Gonna stop that hormone stuff and see if that is what is makiing me so weepy and everything. Need to go to the store for a couple of things. but my first thought is..what if I run in to them. And she's not here yet for them to even BE a them. I've always been bad about trying to cross bridges before I get to them. I never run in to him, but I think it's cause he is so focused on getting the work done on the house before she gets here, that he doesnt have time or money to run around. I have such a habit of hibernating anyway, I don't know how I will force myself out of the apt once she's here. The images in my mind already send me to the depths of despair (how is THAT for drama), God knows what the reality is going to do to me. I'm so afraid and why should I be afraid I didn't do anything wrong. Even so, I am. What is lower than despair? Cause I feel myself sinking lower and lower. Despondency? I'm just sitting here staring at the wall. weeping again.
Went to the store for what I needed and then some. Got fruit and veggies to try and eat healthier. But so stressed, I dont see it happening. Bought cokes too even though I was trying to get off of them. I can't focus on too much at once. right now its more important to get out of this ditch than it is to lose weight. cried at walmart. So tired of all this. I am not doing those hormones anymore cause I want to see if that's what is making me act like this.
Went to the store for what I needed and then some. Got fruit and veggies to try and eat healthier. But so stressed, I dont see it happening. Bought cokes too even though I was trying to get off of them. I can't focus on too much at once. right now its more important to get out of this ditch than it is to lose weight. cried at walmart. So tired of all this. I am not doing those hormones anymore cause I want to see if that's what is making me act like this.
Replies
I\'m low too. I know it will get better for both of us. Just feel crazy right now. Hugs to you
Think it\'s the weather? the month? LOLOL. cried at walmart. cried at the bank friday when I went to try and open an acct and take my name off the joint one. all i seem to do is eat cry, sleep, and whine. thinking of looking for a job somewhere else and get out of here. Not a smart thing to do at my age, but... Thanks Lori--hugs to you too.
It\'s SNOWING here which is making me mad-I\'ve got too much to do for the weather to be crappy. I cried all through church and at WalMart.
Some sun would sure make me feel better
LOLOL. It\'s fairly chilly here. The wind blowing like crazy. We almost never get snow. It will be hot here soon enough. Hot and muggy. But for once I look forward to it, because the pool will open and I can swim laps which always makes me feel better.
I\'ve been in the dumps all day and part of yesterday. It\'s been raining for two days; my round pen looks like a retention pond. I know I\'m not getting enough sun right now. Maybe the sun will be out tomorrow. It\'s cold here.
I know we will all feel better when the sun comes back.
You may be right Trisha. Just for the heck of it, I started looking at jobs. Not thinking I\'d find one in this economy. Found 2 good possibilities at MD Anderson in Houston. But I dont know. It\'s hard to make such a huge change at my age. I\'m pretty settled where I am and they have been great the last 3 years while I was going thru so much crap. Not sure I want to make such a huge change at this point in my life...
feeling a good bit better. A friend contacted me and wants me to come spend easter weekend with them. already made my reservations. Will be good for me to get out of town for a couple of days. can\'t take the dog-and I need a break from her too-but not going to ask ex to keep her. Will find someone else or put her in kennel for weekend. She won\'t like it but she will get over it.