Empty

My Husband has informed me as of last night that he is filing for divorce and moving out all b4 the baby is due in 4 weeks.. this is not at all how i pictured my life to go.. i have stood by him in the military and through our entire lives growing up since the age of 13 when we started dating.. How do I turn off my feelings toward such a heartless person? maybe then it won't hurt so bad that he is doing this to me (or us).. my biggest fear is that he is going to try and take her away from me just to hurt me more.. i don't know what to do I can hardly afford my bills as it is and now i have to try and survive on short term disability (don't qualify for maternity leave at work).. and then afford daycare after just so i can go back to work to try and support us.. This is like a complete nightmare... 

Replies

YvonneKB
YvonneKB

I am so sorry that your husband gave you such rotten news, especially when you are 36 weeks pregnant! I can\'t believe he would do such a thing! Something like this could upset you enough to cause you to go into premature labor! Please know that he will be responsible for child support and most likely alimony, so you won\'t have to bear the financial burden alone. I hope you have a good support network of family who can help you emotionally and with your daughter as well. Again, I\'m so sorry!
MEDsMom
MEDsMom

And if you can\'t afford an attorney call legal aid. Don\'t sign away your rights to fair support, etc. I\'m sorry this is happening to you. Try and take care of you as much as possible right now. Hugs and prayers.
fishnswim
fishnswim

I\'m so sorry this is happening to you. I would start working on a plan of how you will prove you have a good network of help and support that can prove you deserve to have primary custody.
LMWT
LMWT

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I saw my sister go through the same thing and it is heart breaking. Part of me is like, F him! Don\'t even put his name on the birth certificate because he does not even deserve that little girl! and the other part is like, if you don\'t put him on the birth certificate than you can not get money out of him to help raise her.

I know the money side scares you, but there are a lot of programs out there to help. One in most states is called WIC (Women, infants and children) its basically a \"check\" that you get weekly or monthly that lists specific food it will cover like dairy, formula, cereal etc. Its the basics but it helps.

I hope you have a great family and friend support system near by that will also help you out.

Again, so sorry this is happening.
LMWT
LMWT

Here is the link I found for WIC in NY if you are interested...

https://www.health.ny.gov/prevention/nutrition/wic/
jfv9f0
jfv9f0

thanks so much ladies.. and thanks LMWT i have been getting WIC since we found out I was pregnant.. my main concern is rent and my car payment had I known he was gonna leave I never would have let him talk me into getting a newer car now im stuck with massive payments.. I am doing what I can and hope to find the strength I need.. I want to thank you all its nice to know I am not alone
Doodles13
Doodles13

So sorry your husband is being a jerk. :-( I thought it was against the law to deny maternity leave under FMLA (family medical leave act). It doesn\'t require paid leave but does guarantee your position at your job. Also, I believe there are programs for child care for you to help find a legit place and there is government money to help subsidize child care cost. Here is a link for New York\'s child care programs http://ocfs.ny.gov/main/childcare/subsidy_program.asp. Anyway, I hope these things help. Good luck! If you need to chat I\'m here.
jfv9f0
jfv9f0

Thanks so much Doodles13.. I have my job set here they even offered me more hours to help with medical and rent.. the gov here is out of money for childcare assistance my sister has been trying to get help for over 4 yrs and just keeps being told there is no money left.. so right now im going to work my butt off at the job and school to give her the best life I can.. the Lord only gives what he knows we can handle now its time to see how strong I really am
Doodles13
Doodles13

I am sorry NY is out of money for child care and you have to work so hard just to provide for yourself and baby. :-( I wished you lived closer to me. I would be happy to watch baby girl for you! You are already very strong and I know He will help too. :-)
jfv9f0
jfv9f0

Thank you so much.. I know the Lord will help me I faithfully prayed for 13 yrs and my prayers were answered.. its having you ladies to talk to that has gotten me through so much
JA0811
JA0811

Oh my goodness I am so sorry you are going through this. Saying a prayer for you
jfv9f0
jfv9f0

thanks hun I really need it
HaveFaith24
HaveFaith24

Sending hugs and strength...you shouldn\'t have to be going through this as your about to have your baby girl. Praying for you...xoxo
jfv9f0
jfv9f0

Thanks hun Prayers are def welcome
ktk7779413
ktk7779413

You don\'t deserve that kind of treatment. Seems like he has been jerking you around since you were first pregnant. I know it looks dark now but god will get you through this. And once you have that little girl in your arms, you won\'t want to deal with his BS anymore. It\'ll be all about protecting her. Hang in there!