depressed?
Trying to decide if I am slowly sliding into depression. My body is really tired right now, which always makes me more moody and unpredictable emotionally.
Working from home today, but should really be in office today, not feeling up to it and don't really care about the repercussions (good sign of depression). Been feeling crappy since my gynae visit Thursday. He said the region (lower abs) is highly inflamed (news break!) and had me on 5 different antibiotics simultaneously. He dismissed my note that I have already been through 2 rounds of antibiotics. I hope he's right and this is just a stubborn infection which will hopefully clear after this bombardment.
As happens after internal exams, my entire abdominal and pelvis region has swelled back up and dealing with that has just absolutely drained my body.. so its been in bed since Thursday. My body hurts from all the lying down, but sitting up , walking etc hurt more so I just have to give my body the rest it needs.
I was on the verge of posting that things were looking up. I went into office 3 days last week which was great. I also noted that in walking out to get lunch I was actually walking, not hunched over, shuffling trying to talk myself into making it to the next block. So I was feeling optimistic. Then I went to the doc. Sigh.
I think that the roller-coaster contributes to my moodiness. I am not sick enough to just give in to being sick, I am not well enough to live my life with any level of predictability.
On the brighter side - I moved into my new bedroom. This is the crazy Max part, doors not properly hung, temporary ceiling, windows to go in, flooring half done and painting to be completed. When is all this going to get done? Who knows. For now all workmen are banned from my home so I'll live with it as is until I can do something about it myself. Story of my journey.
I love my new room though, the light problem is not fully resolved but it is so much better than my old room. Looking forward to setting up a kitchenette right next door which will make it so much easier for me to get on the healthy eating plan.
Speaking of food .. I have a raft of antibiotics to go take, which means I need to eat. So I have to haul my pained butt up to the kitchen. Here we go...
Working from home today, but should really be in office today, not feeling up to it and don't really care about the repercussions (good sign of depression). Been feeling crappy since my gynae visit Thursday. He said the region (lower abs) is highly inflamed (news break!) and had me on 5 different antibiotics simultaneously. He dismissed my note that I have already been through 2 rounds of antibiotics. I hope he's right and this is just a stubborn infection which will hopefully clear after this bombardment.
As happens after internal exams, my entire abdominal and pelvis region has swelled back up and dealing with that has just absolutely drained my body.. so its been in bed since Thursday. My body hurts from all the lying down, but sitting up , walking etc hurt more so I just have to give my body the rest it needs.
I was on the verge of posting that things were looking up. I went into office 3 days last week which was great. I also noted that in walking out to get lunch I was actually walking, not hunched over, shuffling trying to talk myself into making it to the next block. So I was feeling optimistic. Then I went to the doc. Sigh.
I think that the roller-coaster contributes to my moodiness. I am not sick enough to just give in to being sick, I am not well enough to live my life with any level of predictability.
On the brighter side - I moved into my new bedroom. This is the crazy Max part, doors not properly hung, temporary ceiling, windows to go in, flooring half done and painting to be completed. When is all this going to get done? Who knows. For now all workmen are banned from my home so I'll live with it as is until I can do something about it myself. Story of my journey.
I love my new room though, the light problem is not fully resolved but it is so much better than my old room. Looking forward to setting up a kitchenette right next door which will make it so much easier for me to get on the healthy eating plan.
Speaking of food .. I have a raft of antibiotics to go take, which means I need to eat. So I have to haul my pained butt up to the kitchen. Here we go...
Replies
Did your gyn do tests to verify infections? I hope he\'s right and the antibiotics clear that area up for you. That would help tremendously.
Hmmmm......your new bedroom. Those imperfections might be a good thing. It is one of a kind. It has a character and personality all it\'s own. Gives you something to think about besides CFS and the fun that comes with it!
I think we all deal with the depression --- package deal. My CFS isn\'t as bad as many people on DS, and I ride that mood roller coaster everyday. Sometimes I wonder if my depression is worse because my CFS isn\'t as bad. I can see so much ........... things that are almost within my grasp, so close ....... .but I just can\'t do it! You are definitely not alone on that one!
I understand what you mean about the depression. It\'s hard to feel positive when so much of the time we just don\'t feel good. I like your brighter side. As long as we can see the brighter sides or pieces then we are going to make it. If we can\'t see any brighter side to the picture of life, we need to all ready have sought out help.
Ditto on the above comment about the antibiotics. Antibiotics are life savers at times, but I think that antibiotics themselves help to get the body all out of whack.
Enjoy that new room and take care.