Can't sleep
Another night having trouble sleeping. Had a bit of a difficult day. I have had to find a new doctor as my old one moved practice. So today i met a new one. All the questions such as changes in your life, etc opened the floodgates. It was such an emotional 1/2 hour. This young woman was very helpful though and suggested i might benefit from counselling. I said i would be open to it but i am not sure I want to go through the whole thing with a stranger. I don't think i am ready to open those doors yet. My middle child was a little upset that she gave me medication for the panic attacks i have been having as she thinks i am doing well and that i can manage them without medication. I have been, but they do paralize me and i feel like i am going to pass out. I am missing Larry so much and although the emotions aren't as extreme, they still tend to overwhelm me. On the positive side I went for a long walk and lunch with a friend yesterday and that was so good. My youngest grandson is back home with his mom and dad. They stopped over and he did not want to leave. He wanted to spend the night. Those boys always put a smile on my face. Patti
Replies
Patti, I understand how just talking about what you are going through can open the flood gates. The pain and suffering are so close to the surface. I am glad your new doctor gave you something for panic attacks, only you know if you need them. I was prescribed something even before my husband passed. I don\'t take them near as often as I did, but carry them with me just in case. At times I do feel like I am making progress, but then all of a sudden something will trigger another crying jag. I hate that. I know it is good to cry, but it leaves me exhausted and with a headache. I too am considering counseling, if nothing more than to maybe learn better coping skills. I do not want to be stuck in this bottomless pit and fear that I may slide back. I am happy you get to spend time with your grandchildren. They are truly amazing, so inocent and resiliant. What a blessing. Try to get some rest and take care of you. As you can see I am not sleeping either. Big Hug to you, Michele
Oh Patti . . I remember those sleepless nights (and I still have the occasional one). And don\'t get me started on panic attacks. Like Michele, I had them prior to J\'s passing, so was medicated. Well, only as needed. I don\'t have them quite as frequently now, but oh boy can they be scary! I\'ve actually passed out with mine. Not cool. I got to the point where I couldn\'t drive (still don\'t too much) and grocery shop. Totally debilitating! So sorry you are going through this. I do understand. Glad you have your lovely grandbabies to love on!! Hope things get better for you soon. Hugs, D