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I have spent more time dealing with my emotions than I ever have.  I have been allowing or forcing myself to face  the painful memories and unpleasant truths of my reality.  As part of the healing process I have to allow  myself to feel the pain. The eating disorders have been about silencing the negative or nagging pain down on the inside or changing the subject.  As part of the healing I  can not change the subject. I have to work through it.  If it is hurting me then I just have to feel the hurt.  I have to look at the situation for what it is and work through it.  Sometimes that means just allowing myself to be in that place.   It is often a silent and lonely  place.  
I do feel that I am evolving in the process.  According to the therapy when I was engaging  in unhealthy eating I was stunting my growth.  I was not allowing myself to develop the tools to work through the difficult places in my life.  I have dealt with a lot of trauma.  
The same thing keeps coming back to me every other day.  That I am in a point in my life where I just need to take care of me.  I need to  nurture me.  I need to replenish me in several ways and on several different levels.