28 Months Today
Dear Josh, Today marks 28 months since the day you left me. 28 months of wanting to know why you. 28 months of beening angry and hiding it. 28 months of hurting and hiding it. 28 months of just not knowing what to do without you. I am trying really hard Josh. I know everyone looks at me and probably thinks "Rhonda is doing so good." If they only new the truth. I try to stay busy, work, going to the gym, looking after everyone and that helps. Saturday we will be having another clean up day for you. I do not know how many will show this time. The Pickle Festival is in town. I remember that is where you met Logan. I miss her too Josh. I miss everything and everybody that was in your life. I thought you would be here to at least see me grow old. Instead I laid you to rest at the age of 16. OH!! Your daddy went and got a tattoo. Yes your daddy. He had your peace sign put over his heart with your name and dates along with FOREVER SIXTEEN. I could not believe it. Well I am supposed to be working so I better get to it. I love you my Joshie Pooh!!! Love, Mama
Replies
You\'re words ring so true, we become so good at hurting but hiding that hurt and anger. I hear how my co-workers say \"you\'re so strong\". If they only knew how I really felt, strong wouldn\'t come close. Yes we are OK more than not most days now but the pain forever remains. I hope you have a good turnout for the clean up day. I think that is such an awesome tribute to your Josh. Love to you. Robin
How many times I\'ve heard how strong I am....am I?...I suppose. I suppose we all are. But in my strength I find I also have great weakness....guess when I think about it, it\'s in my weakness that I find the most strength. We hurt, we ache, we cry...we place that pain on a shelf for a while and walk forward and smile and function.... We\'re strong, yes. We\'re weak, yes. We\'re moms who miss their babies....
If only we were as strong as people believed we were. The one thing we all are is award winning actresses. Lol Love and hugs Cathy
God bless you. I have a grandson named John who is 16 and just learning to drive. I have fears of what you have gone through....but right now, my only son who was 29 died from a gun shot wound to the head....my pain is obvious still....I don\'t do well in crowds or anywhere...I want to stay sheltered but know tomorrow is my granddaughter\'s field day and she needs me there...I hope for God\'s grace to get me through it. My daughter had a tattoo of Brandon\'s initials like he had on his upper arm put on her wrist. Our children live on in heaven and in our hearts....may God bless you today and keep you in His grip.