Sadness
Tomorrow is 3 weeks that I found out I miscarried. I know it's not good to think this way, but I can't seem to help it. There are days I feel like I was never pregnant and imagined the whole thing, and there are days where I forget and think I'm still pregnant and catch myself about to eat something on the "don't eat if pregnant" list and then realize it's ok, I can eat anything I want now. Just when I thought the rollercoaster of IF was bad, I now see that the miscarriage rollercoaster is about a thousand times worse. Yesterday was a bad day. I made the huge mistake of logging onto facebook and I swear everyone on facebook brought their kids to the pumpkin patch over the weekend. I lost it, it hit me so hard. I blocked sooo many people on facebook a while ago; I blocked all of the annoying baby post offenders. The world is full of babies, kids, families and I can't lock myself up in my house forever but there are days when I feel like, how the hell am I going to do this!? I hope my debbie downer journals lately are not coming across too whiney, I want to apologize but on the other hand I have to get this off my chest and I know the support I get here is so amazing and that's what these journals are all about.
I don't normally do shout outs, but I just want to congratulate all those who have been sharing good news. Enjoy all the wonderful moments you so deserve!
Love to all xoxoxo
I don't normally do shout outs, but I just want to congratulate all those who have been sharing good news. Enjoy all the wonderful moments you so deserve!
Love to all xoxoxo
Replies
Oh honey, no one thinks you\'re whining. We all love you so much, and our hearts are breaking along with yours. I cry everytime I read one of your journals, and still can\'t fathom what it must feel like to go through such a terrible loss. Even though it doesn\'t feel like it now, you know you\'ll get through this. You can\'t beat yourself up about it. You have to give yourself time and understanding. It\'ll happen, eventually. In the meantime, you can post as much as you need to, and we\'ll be here to read and cry along with you. Hugs love.
write away, it helped me immensely. within weeks of my MC i found out two good friends were pregnant and had my due date. it was tough but as you say we can\'t lock ourselves up and this wasn\'t even through fb. MCs are tough and they take a while. I still think about my angel, it still saddens me that why couldn\'t it have been a pregnancy why did it have to miscarry.
we are all here for you do what feels right for your healing process.
Huge hugs. I understand completely how you feel. Miscarriage takes such a long time to heal from. 5 or six months may not be out of the question for having \'Debbie downer\' days. It\'s healthy and will allow you to heal. Trust your gut emotions and you will be ok. Saying a prayer for you tonight.
This is a support group and this is what we are all here for, the bad days, also the good but the day ones are when we need each other more than anything. I wish I could take all the hurt away. I am praying for you. Hugs!
This is your journal and you can spill your guts a million times over as often as you feel you need to. It\'s a privilage to be connected to you on here, that you would share your words and heart with me as a cyber observing friend. I LOVE being able to ramble and whine in my safe zone here in DS world where no one knows me or judges me. It\'s very freeing. You pour your broken heart out as many times in a day as you want HopefulNYC *HUG!
I\'ve been having a rough time also and feeling exactly the same- Debbie Downer... you don\'t sound like that by the way! I need to close my FB acct, I feel like I am so self destructive every time I get on! Healing with you on this crazy journey
Hugs hun! For only being 3 weeks I think you are doing amazingly! And you will have good days and bad days to come. I still have bad days and its been almost 11 months since my mc. DS and your journal are for you to write what you feel no matter what it is and all your friends on here will read it and help hold you up when you need the support. So bitch, moan, complain, wine, cry, scream whatever you need. We are here for you no matter what because we get it and love you! Big hugs XOXO
Sending some love your way...xoxo the outside fertile world can be so cruel at times:( wishing you brighter days.