Does it ever get better?? Will I ever feel like the old person I use to know?? Will I ever be the same?? I feel like I'm just getting worse and worse. Of course there is more drama going on. But people without PA's have no problem handling problems. But with me I just can't seem to handle stuff because when something happens it seems too manfest it self into some kindof PA. I just want them to go away I want to be the person I once was not the person I've become. I want to be better, I want to have fun again ,I want to have drama and not react in a bad way too it.  I went to a funeral on Thursday and it made me realize alot of stuff.Point being I can't stand these PA's. I also went to a Halloween party this weekend. It's an annual party that I've gone to for yrs. and that's when it really hit me. I'm really no where close to the person I used to be.That for yrs. now I've been going thru the motions each day so I don't stir-up any real emoitions and end up with huge PA's.   I want to scream at the top of my lungs go away PA's and actually have them go away!! I realize all this complaining won't change a damn thing but I just had to vent!!