27 days today

Almost at 30 days. How has my life changed? So far been able to control the urge to gamble. Keeping myself accountable by enthralling myself in my business. Working on the numbers everyday. Trying to figure out how will I get myself out of this hole that I have created for myself. I believe I will do it and I know that is important. If one believes in oneself then there is a very strong possibility that it will be done. I know I used to believe that I will create more money in my life by going to the casino. And I did but I am reminded that I wasn't strong enough to leave the casino with the money that I had won. I remember one time I was playing a dollar machine. There was a row of us women playing next to each other. Max bet was 5.00 and 3 of the machines in the row hit good jackpots including mine. All of us were happy and discussing our good fortune with each other. I won 2200.00 but I got caught up in the game. After I got paid I ended up feeling greedy and attempted to play more. I finally put it all back after gambling a few hours and walked empty handed feeling sorry for myself. That night I went to my first GA meeting and attempted to get clean. Didn't work because I wasn't honest with myself. I thought these other people had way more problems than I did. I was different from them. I was motivated because we were in a recession and I needed to generate more income for my business since my business wasn't doing it. What a crock of crap. Anyway fast forward 3 years later and here I am still dealing with this addiction.