Thankful

My wife of 40 Years passed away on Sept 19, 2012. We both considered ourselves faithful, but I hadn't been to church in years and she had just started going back in March. She was prevented from going starting in April because of her breast cancer surgery and chemo treatments. She wanted me to go and I promised her I would, but we never got to go together because she passed away. From going through her things I found she had been buying various religious books and the last book she was reading on her kindle was "The case for Christ: A journalist's Personal Investigation of the evidence by Lee Strobel" This isn't an endorsement, but I plan to read it because I want to know what she was reading, maybe it will help me. I believe she knew she was close to her passing, or at least had a feeling that she didn't know what the outcome would be. She never told me of this. She had complications from her chemo, and developed lung issues and eventually kidney and major organ failure. She was on a ventilator for 4 weeks and couldn't talk or communicate during this time. This was the most crushing thing for me because we didn't really get to say goodbye. Since her passing I have dedicated myself to becoming more faithful, going to church as she wanted, and believing that she knew where she was going and was preparing for her journey. I feel a comfort in Church, although most things make me cry a lot. I believe she has guided me to return to God, and for that I am thankful