Empty

Lately I've just been empty. Not really any energy, wanting to be alone and just do nothing. A lot of times I just feel that I don't belong in this lifetime and wish it would end soon. I don't know what I feel, how can I, I don't even understand or grasp the whole emotion thing. Sure I can laugh, feel pain, feel teary but I don't feel anything else. I don't know what that is. I don't understand feelings or what their even supposed to mean, I was never taught them. The only family I have left is the one I made. I was really never part of a real family as I was always mistreated by them and had to eventually cut all ties. My dad has been dead for yrs but he was more of a counselor to me than a father. So I dunno, I dunno why I have to live this life. Don't worry I won't kill myself, I'm not that weak to even attempt it. I have gotten a lot stronger since childhood!