So my fiancees grandfather passed away on wednesday. We were there to see it. It was sad, it was beautiful. His grandpa had been holding on for his grandma's sake. She had kissed him, and he had let go. So that's the beautiful part. The sad part was watching my man bawl, and seeing his mother crumble. But here's the really really sad part. I took about a week off of work, to be with my fiancee at his grandpa's side. We were stretched thin in the finance part already, but this was a whopper to the pocket book.So my sister calls and asks to borrow money. I tell her I don't have any. She asks why. So I tell her what I just told you. And she tells me for a special low price she can get herself and I a 'relaxing aide'. Like WTF???I wouldn't lend her the money if I had it, I'm to the point where she gets to sink or swim on her own. But what makes her think I would give her cash so she can get herself high? And what makes her think I would do it?Sure, I'm stressed to an all time max, Christmas is around the corner adding more pressure to my already squished brain. My fiancee is a wreck, and his family is clattering around everywhere waiting for the funeral. Our house is a mess, not much time to clean when your always in a hospital, our puppy seems to have forgotten all the house training rules, I don't feel like cooking so our food choices suck and make us feel gross, my mother is getting engaged to a man I think is a penis(its the man that makes me upset, not the her getting engaged part...Go MUM!), we had to drain our wedding fund to help out my little sister who is pregnant(i love her and I don't regret it, my bills regret it), and above all, I hate my job and know when this is all done I have that to go back too.Sometime's I wonder why I don't say yes to her offer. But then I stop, and I think back to the ruins that are my sisters life. She destroyed herself and scorched those around her. So that's why I don't do it, still, I'm just.....just....aaarrrgggg....there's not even a word for what I am!!
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