Holy cow!  It's been a full year since I last wrote!  Once again life escaped me, and with it went time.  I mean, wow...I did not think that it had been that long at all.To update, my sister got busted with intent to sell.  Children services seized her kids.  She went to jail, and ultimatley to rehab.  Her oldest went to live with her father, and her other daughter came to me.  It was the hardest nine months of my life and in the end they decided that she should go to a special home so that our relationship wasnt damaged further.  Children services claim that I am her stable person and that her relationship to me is what could determine her future.With my sister and rehab, it was a little bit helpful.  If that makes sense.  She did it because part of her wanted too(it was not court ordered, childrens services did it for her), but at the same time part of her didn't want too.She completed her short program(only 6 weeks!!!) in September, and just last week she had her first relapse.  She lost her job, and her chance to have her children back with her part time.  She calls me all the time.  Asking if I want to do something.  And I make up some lame excuse why I can't.  I'm a coward still.  I just can't face her, still.  And since she returned she has replaced her crack addiction with alcohol.  So I bow out, unable to tell her the real reason why I cant face her.  That just looking at her now makes me sick.  That I saw what she changed her daughter into, I took the brunt of it every day.  That I'm just not ready to forgive her.  Do I owe her that explanation?  Do I owe her anything?