my mum is finally going through the motions.  she is washing her hands of my sister.  she has gotten the paper work to take the kids from my sister, and she has taken away the car that she bought for her.  she is packing up her stuff and she is changing the locks on the storage unit she pays for my sister to use.  the thing is, my sister is in jail.  and when she gets out i dont know if my mum will be able to stand up to her.  i think she may ask me to be there when she tells her, i dont know if im strong enough.  everyone thinks that because i dont speak to april and i dont lend her money, or allow her in my home, that i have a good grip on the sitch.  the truth is i dont do these things because i hurt when i talk to her, i ache when i know that if i gave her cash it would be for drugs, and i cry when she looks around my house and i know she is eyeing up my valuables to pocket.  i dont have a handle on it, in fact im a chicken shit.  im not facing it like i know that i have too.  my mum needs the support and im so scared that ill crumble when april starts screaming those hateful words.  that ill crack when my mum starts crying.  that ill go off like a firecracker if my sister tries to hit her.  what if mum does all this and then doesnt go with it?  thats a major set back, it took her a year and a half to get to this point.  it needs to be done.  my neice had an 'introducing you' project on the first day of class, and she had to show off a pic of her family.  she showed her mother as dead.  and we had to sit down and explain the situation with the teacher and now cassandra refuses to go back because her teacher knows her mother is a drug addict......arg.......if simple things amuse simple minds then i must be a damn genius....