I know I post on here with an eye towards privacy. I know this will come across as nothing more than pixels on a screen. I know I can't get my needs met this way.
Just the same, I want to say it: I wish I had someone to hold me in her arms. Someone to comfort me by her touch. Beyond cognition; beyond diplomacy; beyond looks; beyond etiquette; beyond preconceptions.
I'm an observer; I observe. I'm a philosopher; I philosophize. I'm a traveler; I travel. I'm a friend; I listen.
And I'm a writer. So, I write.
But as a picture is worth a thousand words, an embrace would be worth far more now than anything I could write.
I am blessed. I don't want to diminish that. I have a roof over my head, enough to eat, good relationships, good physical health... There are some things in my life that are going well, including my relationship with my boss and coworkers and the chances I have to explore and see beauty in the world. But there's a pall of obscurity that I can't transcend by myself these days. Not through sitting here, typing these words, or through sitting in silence (I don't think).
I don't want to give the impression that I have a gloomy attitude towards life. It's very much the opposite; I think you'd see me as upbeat and enthusiastic if you knew me.
But I'm missing something. Something really important.
And it hurts very much.
Just the same, I want to say it: I wish I had someone to hold me in her arms. Someone to comfort me by her touch. Beyond cognition; beyond diplomacy; beyond looks; beyond etiquette; beyond preconceptions.
I'm an observer; I observe. I'm a philosopher; I philosophize. I'm a traveler; I travel. I'm a friend; I listen.
And I'm a writer. So, I write.
But as a picture is worth a thousand words, an embrace would be worth far more now than anything I could write.
I am blessed. I don't want to diminish that. I have a roof over my head, enough to eat, good relationships, good physical health... There are some things in my life that are going well, including my relationship with my boss and coworkers and the chances I have to explore and see beauty in the world. But there's a pall of obscurity that I can't transcend by myself these days. Not through sitting here, typing these words, or through sitting in silence (I don't think).
I don't want to give the impression that I have a gloomy attitude towards life. It's very much the opposite; I think you'd see me as upbeat and enthusiastic if you knew me.
But I'm missing something. Something really important.
And it hurts very much.
Replies
We have a mutual friend so I decided to take a look at your journals...I have to say you are an amazing writer ...but can I just share something---so much of an emphasis is put on a situation or an idea..and what we think may turn out to be that the grass is never greener on the other side..it just appears to be. \"appears\" Our life is constantly moving and shifting , and wouldn\'t want you to miss out on what you do have in your life- even if it seems like something is missing. Something will always be missing, I\'m 35 years old, not much older then you, but another person cannot fill those empty holes we suffer from, and its too much of a tall order to hope that the person will fill it for us. I am not assuming that you do, but I would just hate for you to have the view of \"lacking\" for so long versus coming from a place of abundance. I think that when we try to chase for what we long for, the further it goes away from us. I have found that to be true, so I\'m trying to have a different perspective. We are all a work in progress, so I hope my words mean something to you.