I know I post on here with an eye towards privacy. I know this will come across as nothing more than pixels on a screen. I know I can't get my needs met this way.
Just the same, I want to say it: I wish I had someone to hold me in her arms. Someone to comfort me by her touch. Beyond cognition; beyond diplomacy; beyond looks; beyond etiquette; beyond preconceptions.
I'm an observer; I observe. I'm a philosopher; I philosophize. I'm a traveler; I travel. I'm a friend; I listen.
And I'm a writer. So, I write.
But as a picture is worth a thousand words, an embrace would be worth far more now than anything I could write.
I am blessed. I don't want to diminish that. I have a roof over my head, enough to eat, good relationships, good physical health... There are some things in my life that are going well, including my relationship with my boss and coworkers and the chances I have to explore and see beauty in the world. But there's a pall of obscurity that I can't transcend by myself these days. Not through sitting here, typing these words, or through sitting in silence (I don't think).
I don't want to give the impression that I have a gloomy attitude towards life. It's very much the opposite; I think you'd see me as upbeat and enthusiastic if you knew me.
But I'm missing something. Something really important.
And it hurts very much.