I feel like I’m losing myself.The more I cover up how I really feel when I'm with her (or talk to her or text her), the worse I feel inside. But I may have the opportunity I'm looking for. She came by tonight to drop off some things I had lent her. She was tired, so she didn't stay long. I told her I wanted to talk, indicating that I didn't want to just stop at kissing. I asked if she was busy tomorrow, and she said she could meet me later in the evening. The way she looked at me and what she said indicated that maybe...Maybe tomorrow?What do I know. This whole thing, all of it, long and drawn out, has been a roller-coaster ride, and I want to get off. If I can just get past the finish line.But then, what I have to give up to get there as soon as possible...How did I get here? So different from where I thought this would go in life. Life can be funny sometimes.