When I was growing up, my dad was verbally/emotionally abusive to me. His outlook was that the world revolved around him, and the way he spoke to and acted towards my mom caused me a lot of pain.  This is how I want to be with my wife (if G-d should will that I marry): Sensitive. Empathetic.  Strong but gentle.Kind.Patient.  Helpful.Comforting. Understanding. Having respect for her needs and feelings; acting from trying to find a balance between respect for mine and respect for hers.