Feeling so down today. Feeling so alone in life. Like no one can appreciate how I feel and what I'm going through. If it's not going to be marriage... if I have to sacrifice that... then at least I want it to be with someone for whom it's ALSO the first time. Otherwise, I'd just be cheapening myself :-(.But... YOU try finding someone who's in her late 20's or early 30's and who's still a virgin. I'm stuck: I can't do it. And it's incredibly painful to continue to wait. Or perhaps, rather, to hold myself back. I can't do it.And I can't wait. I feel despair about finding ANYONE who's still waiting around my age. For every new girl I meet, I wonder: Has she done it? Has she not? Will I at some point see her with revealing clothing? Why am I different? What's wrong with me?Why?Why does everyone else know what it's like?Why have I not found someone for me?Why am I in this position?Why? I have so much else in life: A roof over my head; enough food; good-enough health; travels to so many places behind me; writing; people who care about me, I guess...But in this, I'm like an "alien." Why does no one else my age (who is not observant Christian) feel that it's right to save herself for her true love?Why am I such a minority?Why? I feel like I'll never get out of this place of being stuck.....