Kissing-- making out-- signifies to me that you're in a relationship with someone. That you're "officially" romantic partners.It has meaning for me. Not just in the sens of the FEELINGS it brings up. It also means you've overcome the obstacles of trying to find a girlfriend (or a boyfriend), that you've found someone and now you're together, and now you can kiss each other.At the same time, these days, I'm really feeling physical urges. I WANT to have that contact, even if I haven't gone through the hoops of finding someone for an actual romantic relationship where things feel good. But if I go the latter route, I have to block out the idea of the former.Which is awful. And if I wait for the former, then I'm in pain for lack of what I crave.Which is proving very painful. And if I want to attract a girl, I feel like I have to smile in a certain way, or make flirtatious overtures, and to me these days, given what I'm going through, what I'm facing, and how I feel, that would be fake. It would be to misrepresent how I feel.It it so important for me to be genuine.Must I give up genuineness to get physical contact these days? Why have I not been able to find both?