I feel so sad. So alone. Like the world just doesn't understand what I am feeling and going through (or at least very few people do).I want so badly to experience sexuality with a girl (beyond kissing, which I've done).But although I meet a lot of girls, and have a lot of acquaintances who are girls, I'm not even interested in anyone romantically at this time.Perhaps it's partly because I've been feeling depressed, and partly the people I've been meeting, or already knew. In this sense, I've just been disappointed by "the world" these days.I'm approaching 30. I don't know if I'll realize my dream of waiting until marriage for sex in the end, as marriage still seems a ways off... if ever.I've waited so long now, and I don't want to continue to wait :-((.Think I'll have to say good-bye to that great hope. If anyone can say something that would help to assuage my loneliness, I'd appreciate it.
Replies
To add to this: I look forward to the day when I can put my \"mood\" as a smiley face :-).
(If and when God wills it.)
I hear you on so many levels.
It is so frustrating to put SO much effort into something so special and to see no obvious results after going through so much. I have often asked the people who say \"oh you\'ll see, if you wait long enough, someone special will come along\" WHEN???? How long is long enough to wait? And how do you even KNOW that? How do I know you aren\'t just saying that to make me feel better, even though it really just makes me feel worse? How can I believe that whole idea of soulmates and how there is supposed to be someone for everyone when it\'s not happening fast enough, or when I need it the most? How come some people find their \"one\" at age 16, and I have no yet? How is that fair at all? What if there is no \"one\" for me? Why can\'t I just know that for a fact, and move on with other things and stop beating myself over the head with all of these questions?
I don\'t know what to say to reassure you, but I can say that as you know, I do know what you are feeling. It\'s torture, it\'s unfair, and only someone who is going through the same thing really knows that \"not looking for it and let it happen\" is BS and that all you want is some kind of sign that all you have been through will pay off someday. Because you see others who don\'t work nearly as hard get that something you have been searching for for years in minutes.
I do hope someday you can change your smiley face. In the meantime, all I can suggest is to keep coming here. This board has helped me not fall too deeply into my negative thoughts. It\'s not alot, but it is something. Take care of yourself...
I don\'t know what to say to comfort you. For me, I waited until I was in love with someone. I married him, and now he has broken my heart by telling me he no longer wants to be with me. Nothing is for certain.