day #3

Well here we are. Wednesday. Halfway to the weekend. 
I had a dream about her last night. And it was all too vivid and i figured it was real and I was so happy. Then i woke up. I couldnt fully get back to sleep cause thoughts of her kept running through my head. I'm just not sure why I'm so heartbroken over this and can't feel anger. My head is telling me she's scum and I don't want anything to do with her but my heart is wondering why she's not around and where she is. It's fucking me up.
My motivation is about the same rate as it has been (little to none) and I'm trying to not let anything affect my work productivity but its tough. Even the girls at work agree with me that what she did was wrong and mean. She doesnt deserve the pain I feel, she isnt worth it and i know that. But knowing and feeling are 2 different things.
I really hope the day gets better which I'm sure it will because it usually does. I fucking hate mornings now.