day 2

So I'm on day 2 and I'm still alive and breathing. Unfortunately when it comes to mornings, they are my worst part of the day. I feel like I should wake up and she should be next to me, or at least texting me. But this I know isn't how it is or how it will ever be again. I'm having a tough time letting go. I picture her face, her smile and my heart just stops and shatters all over again.
My sister said I need to get angry. Maybe I'll go to the gun range and light up some targets, get some aggression out. I just don't get it. And I want to, maybe I'd feel better. I want this pain to go away. I want to sleep at night. I want to be happy. 
A friend told me she posted some status about "its not who's in front of you but who's behind you"  ?!?!?! how could anyone support what you did? It was not ok. It was mean, low, unfair and worst of all two-faced. I didn't realize how much I cared until I could feel my heart breaking from her slipping away. Like water in my hands i couldn't keep her there.
Hopefully the day gets better, which I'm certain it will. going to go for a hard run later after work to keep my mind off of everything. I'm glad I found this site. Not only is it comforting to know complete strangers care, but me offering advice helps me cope with my pain.