Well, well, well.....Sunday Ava was sick-had a high tempurture and didn't feel good. She was feeling better by the next day. Now Brock is sick. He didn't sleep well last night and was up about 4 or 5 times. He had to have some water and use the bathroom. I asked him about it and he said he also had some bad dreams so that kept him up some also. He looked tired, he was tired. The man that I am married to needed a ride to pick up a truck and take it some place else. So I had to get the kids up and dressed to go. I dressed Brock in warm clothes, took a blanket and let him lay down in the back seat. He was feeling a little better as the day wore on and we were in a grocery store getting a few things. My "husband" made comments on how bad Brock looked-dark circles under his eyes and stuff like that-well, yeah, he had been up half the night. My "husband" said that if any one sees him I was going to get in trouble because of the way he looked. He then had the audicity to say "You are a bad parent".....those were his exact words. My kids looked up at me with surprise that he would say such an asinine thing. It really upset my daughter-it hurts her when he says mean hurtful things to me. I will be leaving him-you can rest assure that. I need the strength and fortitude. I hate that about myself, being such a chicken shit. I need to be assured that I will be granted custody of the kids-that is my main worry. I will try to contact an abuse center and see if the things he is saying is abuse or do they just handle the physical parts of it. I know some women have it worse and I hear that words hurt just as long and as much as a slap on the face. This is all so confusing and distressing to me................
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EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS AS BAD AS PHYSICAL ABUSE AND YOU DON\'T HAVE TO TAKE IT , YOU DESERVE BETTER , AND THOSE SWEET KIDS DESERVE BETTER TOO. I KNOW IT IS SCARY TO THINK OF LEAVING YOUR HOME ESPECIALLY WITH TWO KIDS TO CARE FOR , THAT WOULD SCARE ME TOO BUT I THINK IF YOU CHECK AROUND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FIND SOME HELP . I DON\'T THINK HE WOULD HAVE A CHANCE OF GETTING CUSTODY OF THE KIDS .I\'M NOT TELLING YOU TO LEAVE HIM , I\'M JUST SAYING YOU NEED TO DO A LOT OF THINKING BECAUSE YOU ARE UNHAPPY AND SHOULDN\'T BE FORCED TO LIVE LIKE THAT . OXOXOXXOX I LOVE YOU .
I agree that emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse, actually I believe it worse! He obviously has no self esteem of his own and he is projecting his feelings of worthlessness onto you. And sometimes its also a way to control you. If he makes you believe you are worthless, a bad mother, and not capable of standing on your own two feet then that makes you fearful of being on your own, makes you doubt whether or not you will get custody, and he gets to hold onto you. He is afraid you will leave and this is a way to ensure that you don\'t, to cut you down and make you not believe in yourself. There are some things you need to be doing. Start keeping a journal and record incidents like what happened while you were in the grocery store. Start collecting important papers and ask a friend or family member to keep them for you so he doesn\'t know where they are. Tell friends and family how he is treating you so that there is no doubt there is abuse so if you end up in court others can testify on your behalf that you have been reporting abuse for ___ whatever lenth of time.
Contact the YWCA (not the YMCA) and they will help you find new housing and provide counseling and advice about how to get out and what to document. There are other organizations that provide these services, but I am not sure what they are or which ones are in your area.
I will tell you that if he is not willing to get help and won\'t even admit that he has a problem, then you should leave. I don\'t know what your spirtual beliefs are, but God doesn\'t expect or require you to stay in an abusive relationship even if he doesn\'t hit you. Emotional abuse if abuse!!! And think about it this way, the kids are learning his behavior and need to be out of that environment so they don\'t turn to behaving that way as they get older and get into tough situations where they don\'t know what to do, because they could potentially learn to act that way too. I can tell you from living in a situation like this for about 4 years, it takes a toll on you both emotionally and physically even when you are a child. It took a lot of counseling and a lot of hard emotional work to recover from the scars that remained even years later. So I am telling you to get out of the situation soon!
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
Fern