FEAR!
I have been putting myself through so much misery these past couple of weeks. Paisley moves everyday and then for like 10 minutes she doesn't move and I panic. I start to think "When did I last feel her?" "Have I felt her today?" and then the fear and panic sets in.
I start jabbing at her and moving my belly, I am probably putting this poor baby through so much stress. I started doing my kick counts at night, 2 weeks ago, Doctor told me to start them at 28 weeks but I started at 26 weeks just for my own sanity and she does great!!! And then Sunday happened, I laid on the couch for almost an hour and she hadn't gotten her 10 kicks in yet, and I cried and cried. So then I did what everyone online says to do, drink something cold and sweet, lie down on your left side, play music, do whatever it takes to make that baby move, and within 13 minutes she kicked 10 times. She must have been sleeping soundly the hour before.
I felt so relieved and dumb at the same time. I got all worked up and I got Tim all upset. I was ready to go to the hospital. I felt terrible. I know I need to relax and have faith, I wonder if all Stillbirth Moms do this to themselves when they get pregnant again?
I have a doc appt on Friday and I am gonna talk to her about baby movement and see if there is a way to know for sure when to call the doc. I should get my scheduled date for my c-section this Friday also, it's looking like Jan 2. So anxious! 11 weeks to go!!
I start jabbing at her and moving my belly, I am probably putting this poor baby through so much stress. I started doing my kick counts at night, 2 weeks ago, Doctor told me to start them at 28 weeks but I started at 26 weeks just for my own sanity and she does great!!! And then Sunday happened, I laid on the couch for almost an hour and she hadn't gotten her 10 kicks in yet, and I cried and cried. So then I did what everyone online says to do, drink something cold and sweet, lie down on your left side, play music, do whatever it takes to make that baby move, and within 13 minutes she kicked 10 times. She must have been sleeping soundly the hour before.
I felt so relieved and dumb at the same time. I got all worked up and I got Tim all upset. I was ready to go to the hospital. I felt terrible. I know I need to relax and have faith, I wonder if all Stillbirth Moms do this to themselves when they get pregnant again?
I have a doc appt on Friday and I am gonna talk to her about baby movement and see if there is a way to know for sure when to call the doc. I should get my scheduled date for my c-section this Friday also, it's looking like Jan 2. So anxious! 11 weeks to go!!
Replies
Of course you feel anxious and how could you not? You are doing everything that you can and this little one is growing, thriving and hey, mom, she needs her \"beauty rest\" too!
I am not making light of this and please know that but this pregnancy is unique as each is. What happened before is not what will happen this time and perhaps when you go into feeling afraid, try to do a visualization of seeing her just as she is... Healthy, growing, thriving and doing everything she should be. Also, stop to take those deep cleansing breaths too.
Hoping your appointment goes well on Friday and that you can receive some reassurance and those anxious feelings are so very normal after what you have been through. Be gentle with yourself and know that your little one will be in your arms soon.
I have not experienced a still birth, yet worked with many women who did, and yes, what you are feeling is so very normal. You are not alone in these feelings and even without a still birth I know I was far more anxious with my second birth, just because I had more knowledge and knew what a miracle it is.
Lots of gentle care and please pat that growing tummy of yours and I\'m grateful you could come here to share your heart and feelings.
XO Joanie
I would think it would be perfectly normal... but as Joanie says...you are doing what you need to do to take care of the little one...love and hugs Karen
Oh ya I totaly went threw that. Don\'t feel bad about it. Of course you freek out. Who wouldn\'t. I didn\'t think twice about going to the hospital. They knew me well by the time I went into labor. They would hook me up to hear the heart beat an I\'d be fine.