Can't sleep
So it is officially 1:18 am Colorado time and I cannot sleep. I blame the fact that I took like a 3 hour nap. Busy day tomorrow seeing old friends I haven't seen in awhile.
Sushi with the hubby and one of best friends. Then old high school peoples for a drink. Luckily my mother-inlaw didn't call today. I thought she would possibly call to apologize for the way she acted the other night. I am happy she didn't call though because between me not feeling well off and on and the hubby trying to relax it was nice to literally lounge on the couch all day and enjoy the quiet.
It is sad how fast the weekend goes by truly. I mean damn it is almost monday and back to work he goes. My mind is racing a mile a minute about stuff I don't really want to think about it. Just wanting to go off into slumber next to my hubby while I can and my mind is denying me that pleasure that I won't have for awhile.
I have decided that I once I get a job (which is hopefully soon) I am going to try to save as much money as I can so when he gets out we can do fun stuff together.
On a positive note I did make a prestuffed salmon fillet thingy for dinner the other night with steamed veggies, rice, and mashed potatoes. I am like uber cool chef. Who knew that at the beginning of our relationship that I would beable to cook well. I was the most non-domesticated chick ever lol. Granted my cleaning abilities could use some work but eh that will get better. I at least have mastered the cooking portion and couponing lmao ^_^ Ok I guess I have rambled enough for now but will probably be on laters and see what is happening in everyone elses worlds
Sushi with the hubby and one of best friends. Then old high school peoples for a drink. Luckily my mother-inlaw didn't call today. I thought she would possibly call to apologize for the way she acted the other night. I am happy she didn't call though because between me not feeling well off and on and the hubby trying to relax it was nice to literally lounge on the couch all day and enjoy the quiet.
It is sad how fast the weekend goes by truly. I mean damn it is almost monday and back to work he goes. My mind is racing a mile a minute about stuff I don't really want to think about it. Just wanting to go off into slumber next to my hubby while I can and my mind is denying me that pleasure that I won't have for awhile.
I have decided that I once I get a job (which is hopefully soon) I am going to try to save as much money as I can so when he gets out we can do fun stuff together.
On a positive note I did make a prestuffed salmon fillet thingy for dinner the other night with steamed veggies, rice, and mashed potatoes. I am like uber cool chef. Who knew that at the beginning of our relationship that I would beable to cook well. I was the most non-domesticated chick ever lol. Granted my cleaning abilities could use some work but eh that will get better. I at least have mastered the cooking portion and couponing lmao ^_^ Ok I guess I have rambled enough for now but will probably be on laters and see what is happening in everyone elses worlds
Replies
I think I want to come over to your house for dinner. Sounded so good.
I fell asleep real early and then woke up probably when you were maybe falling asleep. Got up at 3:30 a.m. Stupid. Why can\'t I ever just sleep a long time, nothing to do at this time of day.
Think its best that the MIL just left you alone. Yea, would be nice if she apologized, but doubt that will happen by the way she sounds.
When my fiance went to prison, there was never a time he got to stay home and wait. He was always arrested, then no bail, and he was just gone with no notice. I don\'t know how it would be to have him home, waiting for him to leave. It would be nice, but sad.
Kind of know though, because once, he was on probation, a car he had worked on, the brakes went out, he rolled it, and unfortunately he had a few beers, so we knew he was going to jail, so when he was taken to the hospital, after he could move, we disappeared from the hospital, before the officially arrested him, and bolted. We ran for 3 mos. Best 3 mos of my life. All over 3 states. Hotels, campgrounds, resorts, and then a little town where his stepmom owned a pizza place and a bunch of apts up above. We stayed in it. Kinda layed low, but still had a good time. When the money was running out and he was recuperated from the accident, he turned himself in. That was the hardest day ever. We kept putting it off. We would decide he was going to do it, I would cry all night, I would wake up after a brief sleep, and he would say, Oh quit crying, not feeling like turning myself in today. Eventually we did. He had me drop him off a block from the police station, and he went alone. Funny part is, they asked why he was there. He said to turn himself in. They said, Why, no one else ever does. OMG And they hadn\'t even turned it into the State. No one would of known!!!!!!! It was a small town/county that it happened. They said, Oh it would be in our records, we figured, you would get in trouble here someday again, then we\'d get ya. OMG how stupid. We weren\'t even from there, so he would of never gotten caught.
But I remember very well, the emotions of when he did turn himself in, it\'s so hard to say goodbye, and not know what the rest of the next few years of your lives is going to be like,
I forget when your husband has to go. WHEN???
I don\'t know which is worse, having them taken with no warning, like happened this time, or being out for awhile and knowing you have to take him to them to put him in prison. I don\'t think either is easy, but at least you get more time with him. Cherish every moment. Don\'t sweat the petty stuff, and right before, lock yourself in your home, or go hide out at some remote hotel, to just be alone.
His sentence hearing is June 28th at like 8:30am.We thought we had more time but found out that the judge was either retiring or moving counties so his lastis actually the day of my husband\'s sentencing. We were expecting at least an extra month. But we deal with what we have and all. I know I am lucky to have the time I have with him now it is just difficult. I can only imagine what he is feeling. I mean he is the one going to a ituation that he has no reference how to live and survive amongst others who have been in awhile and stuff. I just don\'t want him to be a victim while just trying to survive and all. I mean he is just going to want to do his time and get out. Doesn\'t want problems with anyone or anything. So I will definitely pray that whatever time is given is short and goes quickly so that he can get out as soon as possible.
As you can tell I still cant sleep lol
That could be a good thing it is the judge\'s last day. He may be in such a good mood, he will be very lenient. He may want it just over with so he can go golf, or sit on his sailboat or yacht. One can picture the life they have.
I am sure that it is grueling to always be sitting up there listening to all of the haggling with the lawyers. Oh well, they got paid ALOT to sit there, and then to decide who gets a life and who doesn\'t.
Tell your husband just to play it cool once in. Don\'t really pick friends at first. Don\'t be anti social, but to watch before he picks friends. Looks are deceiving. Tell him to not look scared, but to not send out vibes of a tough attitude. It\'s a careful balance.
Mine stuck to himself for awhile. Assessed the situation. Never got involved in any tough guy fights. He took classes, slept ALOT, watched tv, got jobs there. He did find the people that were ok to hang around with. Never ever associated with those that irritated the guards.
He goes for walks, joined a softball team, took any classes offered. Then he got into projects like making jewelry, which lost me my visits because he was going blind trying to get the tiny thread through a very tiny hole without a needle. Then he got into making these semi trucks. They buy the supplies from a catalog. It is plastic mesh, yarn, and who knows what else. I saw pictures of some that another man made. You can sell them out here for about $75.00 He made one with very intricate designs on it for my granddaughter. It is a Barbie semi, to pull her sports car, or whatever. It has splashes of water on it, it has a picture of her car, it is in pink and purple, her favorite colors. My fiance is a very good artist who has never utilized his talents. He can see something and draw it to perfection. He is also making one of these semi\'s with Green Bay Packers logo, and MN Twins. They are piggy banks too. Pretty large. It took him 200 hours to complete Emmy\'s pink and purple one.
You find something they are interested in, for them to do. This particular project cost alot. You have to buy all of the materials. But if it gives them something to pass time with, and feel accomplishment in something they are doing, it is worth every penny. It is better than them sitting there getting more angry and resentful. Or depressed.
We went down that road. At first he didn\'t do anything but sleep, read, and watch tv. Then he got his job, which was great for him. It made him feel good about himself. He got made lead man, he got to give out orders to other men, which I am sure Mr Control Freak was sadly missing when not in control of anything in his life.
They do really adapt to where they are. They get a routine going. It\'s weird. I picture it being so awful. I think a women\'s prison is worse because there are so many hard ass bitches in them. I would be a target cuz I would be crying all of the time.
My guy is 50, so he is like a old man, or father figure to most of them, because he is one of the oldest ones there. They respect him. No one bothers him. He is in a medium security too. So that\'s better.
I used to write EVERY day. Sometimes I still do. I kept him informed of every little thing that was going on at home, and in our area, and with family and friends so he felt that he was still here, in some way, that he wasn\'t missing out on any important details.
Sometimes he helps me with my homework. I send the assignment ahead of time, if its something I am confused about. He goes over it, and then either we talk about it on the phone, or he sends what he thinks I need. HAHA he got me a B in algebra. Had never had algebra and I had to do college algebra. He did great since he never had it, never graduated. Got his GED in the Army.
I keep him busy however I can. He does my taxes for me. Now we are heavy into his stupid roommates problems. My ugly Honey Do list.
Ok gotta go, fingers are getting tingly for some reason.
Good luck, go have a nice day with him. Do it as often as you can. Go hide from mommy dearest.
Thanks for the advice. I heard that the first week is the hardest. We know that he will be going into maximum at first and hopefully it won\'t take long for him to be downgraded to like a medium or minimum. THe bad part is is that we wont even know where he will start out at. I mean they wouldn\'t send him out of state or anything would they? Cause I tell you I will bug the fuck out if they move him out of state because I would have no way of getting to see him.
So I am crossing my fingers there are no surprises there. I decided that I will tell him to call his mom for the first 2 wks before he gets transferred because I know she will need the reassurance more than I will. I mean I plan on staying at their house for a day or two maybe just so I would be able to talk to him and stuff. But other than that I will be alone in our house.
I coudl see my hubby being able to balance his emotions well. Like not looking scared or anything or being too tough. I mean he is a good guy and a good judge of character normally. Again it is just the unknown for me since I am not the one going in there that I worry. I try not to think about it too much because once he is all I will have is time to reflect and worry about stuff sometimes. No reason to tarnish the time we have left and all.
Do you know how the book thing works? Like can you mail them books or bring them in when you visit? The reason I ask is because he is a big reader and if I am able to send him books I can keep him up on his favorite authors and stuff. And stupid question but are visits still held between glass or does it depend on the facility? When eh was in county for the 2 1/2 months I just saw him through like a tv screen and had to talk through the phone reciever thingy.
That is cool that your husband can do projects and things like that. Mine has always been good at woodshop stuff. I think he is wanting to continue his degree in there if he can. I can see him losing weight while being in there because when he was in for the short time before we were able to bond him out he lost sooooo much weight.
So I crack jokes with him that its ok that he gained as much weight as he has from my cooking so then when he goes in he will actually have weight to lose instead of looking like a skeleton and all. He laughs. It is like one of those things that I am trying to cook stuff that I know he likes and won\'t have for god knows how long. (Hence why I cooked fish. I am not one for fish but he loves it.)
Thats what a good wifey does, It was funny a few days ago we were playing around in the kitchen and I was like don\'t worry I\'ll cure with my wifey cooties. LOL He laughed his ass off.
I am a writer by nature so I will probably write him all the time. I like that you write long responses too because I am one of those people that if I start writing it isn\'t something short at all. I feel like I better express myself through writing.