im having alot of trouble getting through my days off of work... i try to keep busy, but i always seem to think about  my little boy in heaven... sometimes i even pray just to see his face again or even to know how he's doing... i often wonder what he's doing and if he is on a sppecial mission god chose for him....but ik now he is ok and that he is looking down on us too. im due for my period soon, that;s if i get it. we are currently trying again to get pregnant. i've been feeling extremely fatigued lately and keep hoping that its because i may be pregnant, but i dont want to get my hopes up! today at work i noticed my sense of smell has increased like in my past pregnancy... i could smell my boss' deoderant today like he rubbed it all over his body!! it was soooo strong....but then it could be just becasue im getting a flu..which is probably right! either way if im not prego right now, i cant wait until my next cycle!! whenever we get pregnant again, we'll have a million ultrasounds and go 300 miles to a different town where we will get checked in and be monitered. i know its stupid, but when we had to go last time it ended in tragedy, and i feel that if this next time goes well , it will give me closure on my past baby. anyways, i just can't wait to be pregnant again!!!!!!!!!