Day 21

Not too bad of a day. I worked til 2. There was a problem with this one girl though. I guess her and her boyfriend decided to rob a pharmacy last night.. yeah, she worked with me and didn't come in today obviously soo idk what that means though the cops were looking for her so I guess shes not coming back. Looks like no more days off this week. Idk if it was just her boyfriend or not that did it, so she may be back. But they were all talking about it and the one guy said " now you know a felon." "HA, yeah",  thats all I said. Meanwhile I am a felon! but I didn't let it get me down that much. Unforchantly I know a few felons. I wasn't gonna tell them that though. I was locked up with a few, and have a few guy friends that got into trouble. I don't think it makes you a bad person, things happen. Look at me, I'm not a hardened criminal, but yes I am a felon. Its just hard to swallow sometimes. I know it will go away but its been there for five years already and it haunts me. I can't get a job and its real easy to find out, just look it up online. Most people don't know, but there is that fear that they will that eats me up. I think I have comes to terms with it though. It won't be there forever, and it doesn't define me. I won't let it. I am more than a piece of paper. I don't think that girl is a bad girl either, I think she just got mixed up with the wrong people. It is a very common thing, ha. Drugs are bad. They steal your soul. My dad isn't the same person when hes messed up. He primarily uses alcohol but when he can't have that he'll do whatever. He used to steal my grandmas pills and stuff. It was horrible. He's been sober now for a month or so. I am proud of him. I don't like to get my hopes up too much though, he hasn't stayed clean for more than three months since three years ago. But I am happy that he is now. Fathers days coming  too so I wanna get him something real good! But drugs are bad. I haven't done anything harder than weed, but still thats wrong to me. My sister and I were talking yesterday and she was talking about everything, my mom has her on lock down from her latest escapade of having condoms. lol and she was venting to me, she said some good things, some that scared me and some that made me think. She said that " its not like what happened to you will happen again." REALLY? I thought! it most likely won't but it doesn't mean it won't happen to her, or my dad or someone else. It won't happen to me, exactly the same way but who knows I could be driving home and kill someone. How naive she is. It may happen. Yeah I won;t be drunk but it could still happen. RIGHT? Idk it must be the PTSD talking but it could. I had a dream about it, this time I wasn't drunk but I ran into a Dairy Queen and killed a guy, the cops arrested me and didn't believe me that I wasn't drinking. It was just a dream but still. But she was so certain when she said it, like shes invincible. Shes not. I wasn't I did shit like she does now and God sent me a huge wake up call. I don't want her to get into trouble. I don't want something bad to happen to her, like it did to me. She also talked about how drugs aren't bad and she doesn't do anything bad. Well let's see here, every other word out of her mouth is a lie, she smokes and drives, shes underage and drinks, she has sex with boys, she lies about where she is, who shes with and what shes doing, oh yeah NOTHING BAD. Like I said drugs are bad, they steal your soul. Job interview tomorrow though! I am nervous but I'M NOT GOING TO CRY! I need this, I am going to go in there solid as a rock and ready to roll. Lol.