Day 17

Back to pessimism. Today SUCKKKKKEDDDDDDDDD. Worked til 2 then went to my friends house to help her get ready for graduation. That was alright but awkward cause her boyfriend hates me, and I don't really know her family. Then went to the graduation, sat all by myself because my sister wanted to sit with her friends but one of her friends is dating one of my exs so I wasn't ALLOWED to sit with them. Then I had haters staring at me. Him and his sister, she hates me because I dated her now baby daddy. GREAT EVENING. I have cramps like a bitch and all I wanna do is go to sleep, but I promised my friend I would go out to eat with her. I am in such a bad mood I could scream. But I didn't I came on here to tell my day. PEOPLE SUCK. I am mad at my sister for making me sit by myself. I am mad at him for being a jerk. I am mad at his sister for hating me for nothing, I can't help that her baby daddy still likes me. I am made at him for liking me. I am mad at myself for being so mad. UGHHHHHH, I just can't stand people. I seriously want to move far away from this place. Everybody around here has a grudge against me. I was sitting in the stands picking out people who can't stand me, and there were a lot of them. I never did anything to any one of them. The ex broke up with me for another girl, it wasn't my fault. It was three years ago if not longer and my sisters friend acts like it happened yesterday. It is so awkward to talk to her. I am glad I didn't sit with them but still sitting there all alone sucked. This whole evening just suckked. My boyfriend was at work, so I didn't get to see him. UGHHH, I just wanna go to sleep. Speaking of sleep I had a nightmare last night. I woke up this morning covered in sweat. I dreamt of my one ex (not the one I talked about earlier in this entry and not the one from the accident), raping me. GREAT. I have never even had sex dreams before, let alone ones of me being raped!  I was scared shitless this morning. He coursed me into a room and kept saying things to me and then he did it. Then I woke up. IT WAS HORRIFYING. I was shaking all morning and couldn't get it out of my head. IDK why I dreamt it. This day just sucks. I need to go to go eat, I hope that goes well, then straight to sleep. I have work in the morning and another full day of things. I need a vacation.