A family member died today. She had been ill but always pulled out of it. I am glad when the suffering ends and constant nagging sickness. The unexpected event is hard to negotiate. I am ok really. Just tired because everything I went to do was more tiring. And of course I could not sleep last night, or today.Hot on the heels of this I am getting voice mails from someone who needs rehab (alcoholic). She is talking to herself on my dime and I am offended. To acknowledge her will make her call more and do the sorry bit. I dont want to be an ass about it so giving another week or so. I know no one in her family or work. I have no idea how she latched onto me. We met at a mutual friend's house and talked about horses. It became one drunken scene after the other. Despite my telling her I am sober and dont appreciate her calls...she still calls. Anyone have some tips??

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deleted_user
deleted_user

I\'m sorry for you loss. It is better to be out of pain though, IMO.
About the person who calls you. I say, unless you are a trained councilor or could refer her to someone who could help, you are under no obligation (depending on your sense of helping) to do anything. If you have your own problems, how can you be expected to deal with others? That\'s why they have AA or Social services, etc. Those people are trained to work with those problems. I\'ve tried to help people in the past but it\'s overwhelming and if you can\'t handle it, you don\'t have to feel guilty or anything. It might talk longer than you think but I\'d say just don\'t acknowledge this person and eventually she\'ll find another place to go. Gee! If you\'ve made it clear that you can\'t help, or deal with it then that\'s what you have to do. We do what we can but we can only go so far, you shouldn\'t have to place your own health, mental or otherwise in jeopardy to help someone.
Is there some way you can block the calls so it doesn\'t cost you anything? Or call the phone co. and tell them you don\'t want to pay that this person is bothering you and needs help.
Just one other point. You know in air planes when they tell you to put on the oxegen mask 1st so then you can attend to small children, you have to be in a place to help someone or they will drag you down too. Think of that when she calls.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thanks NormaL