Stress is kicking my guts around. And I know what is not helping, other than the storm hitting our area.
I saw an old friend at a store last night. We use to be close until I sobered up..not just the party scene but most things in life. She and I are
worlds a part. Just seeing her was tough because I am not inclined to listen to the rant/rave stuff. I try to tell her that it is too much and it hurts her feelings. She becomes explosive. She is SO not good for me though. I have been able to set most boundries with people. This one is tougher and after thinking through this, I see things about her that reminds me of my sister. So, the sister thing is probably what I am really touchy over
(she is bipolar and would get "high" and go off on me over...nothing..for years).
I have worked a long time to become clean and sober. over 12 years. And when my sister was diagnosed as Bipolar, we really had a struggle about substance abuse and her treatment. I tried to help her and just got sucked into binges. I even went to see how my genes/behavior related (sister wanted to know if I were bipolar). I seem to have some mild depression and otherwise ok..despite having a history of substance abuse.
My sister has suffered a lot. We could not get along for a few years. More recently, she approached me with her
better managed care and offered more awareness of her coping. It has been so much more "even" and we enjoy emails now and a few days around events. We are building a relationship slowly and it is nice having my big sister around again.
I guess talking this out in through journal reveals that I don;t want to put this same effort into my old friend. She may need me...but I really don't need all that comes with knowing her. It sounds so cold.
I saw an old friend at a store last night. We use to be close until I sobered up..not just the party scene but most things in life. She and I are
worlds a part. Just seeing her was tough because I am not inclined to listen to the rant/rave stuff. I try to tell her that it is too much and it hurts her feelings. She becomes explosive. She is SO not good for me though. I have been able to set most boundries with people. This one is tougher and after thinking through this, I see things about her that reminds me of my sister. So, the sister thing is probably what I am really touchy over
(she is bipolar and would get "high" and go off on me over...nothing..for years).
I have worked a long time to become clean and sober. over 12 years. And when my sister was diagnosed as Bipolar, we really had a struggle about substance abuse and her treatment. I tried to help her and just got sucked into binges. I even went to see how my genes/behavior related (sister wanted to know if I were bipolar). I seem to have some mild depression and otherwise ok..despite having a history of substance abuse.
My sister has suffered a lot. We could not get along for a few years. More recently, she approached me with her
better managed care and offered more awareness of her coping. It has been so much more "even" and we enjoy emails now and a few days around events. We are building a relationship slowly and it is nice having my big sister around again.
I guess talking this out in through journal reveals that I don;t want to put this same effort into my old friend. She may need me...but I really don't need all that comes with knowing her. It sounds so cold.
Replies
No, it doesn\'t sound so cold. Long story short ... and I can tell you more later, but similar things happened to me ... you have to talk care of your self. 1st. Like they say on airplanes, put your safety vest on 1st if you have a small child then you will be able to help them. No one gets anything out of it (a relationship) if you aren\'t your best or who you want to be.
It does not sound cold to me. Like the saying goes \"you can chose your friends but not your family\" As we have discussed before I am not good with the boundries either but that said you do not have to deal with this friend. Friends should fill you up not suck you dry. Dont feel guilty about it and at least you are AWARE of your sensitivity about it and why. Keep warm with the weather and your friends.