24 hours
I hit a point of desperation last night. I was infuriated and desperately lonely, after a birthday party for an acquaintance of mine turned quickly into a raucous drinking game. Since I just moved to the area, I'm only just starting to make friends, and hadn't seen this side of this group of people before.
The longer I allowed myself to sit there, sip nervously on rum and Dr. Pepper, and be lulled into false security, the more horrified I was at both my own passive behavior, and the (boisterous and crude) intoxicated behavior of the company I was in. This was not what I wanted. This was detrimental to my mental health, even if I wasn't on medication (which I am), as well as my spiritual health. I felt conviction tighten my chest and push me towards action.
I had to make a decision. And my decision was to get a (sober) ride home.
But the worst part is, these were my only friends. And walking away and deciding against that lifestyle meant I was burning bridges.But, the more I prayed about it, the more clearly I heard what God had to say about that bridge: Let it burn.
I had been talking seriously with one of the girls about getting an apartment next month. I was horrified about that decision-- I knew that I didn't want to live with her. Not now, when I know that's how she wants to spend her time. But God is kind-- my friend initiated the conversation about the apartment, and I told her about my convictions, which she took pretty well. Praise God for that!
And, in a very immediate answer to prayer, the Lord is providing me with desperately needed Christian fellowship. I "coincidentally" met and spoke with the teacher of the college-age class at my church today, and she told me about the group. I'm so thankful. Even when God burns a bridge down and leaves you breathless, wondering how you're going to get across the chasm, He provides a way, often in a very unexpected way. He is good :)
The longer I allowed myself to sit there, sip nervously on rum and Dr. Pepper, and be lulled into false security, the more horrified I was at both my own passive behavior, and the (boisterous and crude) intoxicated behavior of the company I was in. This was not what I wanted. This was detrimental to my mental health, even if I wasn't on medication (which I am), as well as my spiritual health. I felt conviction tighten my chest and push me towards action.
I had to make a decision. And my decision was to get a (sober) ride home.
But the worst part is, these were my only friends. And walking away and deciding against that lifestyle meant I was burning bridges.But, the more I prayed about it, the more clearly I heard what God had to say about that bridge: Let it burn.
I had been talking seriously with one of the girls about getting an apartment next month. I was horrified about that decision-- I knew that I didn't want to live with her. Not now, when I know that's how she wants to spend her time. But God is kind-- my friend initiated the conversation about the apartment, and I told her about my convictions, which she took pretty well. Praise God for that!
And, in a very immediate answer to prayer, the Lord is providing me with desperately needed Christian fellowship. I "coincidentally" met and spoke with the teacher of the college-age class at my church today, and she told me about the group. I'm so thankful. Even when God burns a bridge down and leaves you breathless, wondering how you're going to get across the chasm, He provides a way, often in a very unexpected way. He is good :)
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