why
i posted this in a couple groups to get feedback from different ends and since there is multiple issues or maybe they are all one, anyhow
ok i have a grasp for the most part on my abuse from many many years ago, partly due to the fact that i blanked it from my mind for so long things i do seem so much like second nature. but i am wondering if others are like me to in how that act and if its a way i deal with things from the abuse. first i was abused by a male cousin since that time, i find it hard to let other guys get close as friends, its a trust thing i actually understand that part of it, no one else seems to, but i do. which is for the most part all that matters, this is why my friends list is mostly females by the way, not that i am trying to get alot of women as friends, i talk to all of them for the most part. anyhow my question does anyone feel themselves drawn to whatver the opposite sex of your abuse, not for any kind of sexual relationshiop but as just a relationship? second, i have an urge to not shelter myself but leave myself open, not so much to be a victim, but to dare anyone to try to. i nkow this sounds strange, but i welcome someone to try and victimize me, and see where it gets them, in other words is this like my defense mechanism kicking in or because aqll my childhood i was bullied by anyone and everyone and its my way of saying come on try again.? Third i feel the need to constantly occupy myself with someone, to talk to, to associate with, a minute does not go by i am not chatting online, texting or on my phone, if i dont i feel like i fall into a deep depression. , so does anyone feel like they need constant contact. ? i guess is the best way to describe thi and lastly has no desire whatsoever to have sex with someone, i mean i have urges like the rest of the world but honestly if its once a month, that i say i need sex its amazing Posted on 10/03/12, 11:53 pm
ok i have a grasp for the most part on my abuse from many many years ago, partly due to the fact that i blanked it from my mind for so long things i do seem so much like second nature. but i am wondering if others are like me to in how that act and if its a way i deal with things from the abuse. first i was abused by a male cousin since that time, i find it hard to let other guys get close as friends, its a trust thing i actually understand that part of it, no one else seems to, but i do. which is for the most part all that matters, this is why my friends list is mostly females by the way, not that i am trying to get alot of women as friends, i talk to all of them for the most part. anyhow my question does anyone feel themselves drawn to whatver the opposite sex of your abuse, not for any kind of sexual relationshiop but as just a relationship? second, i have an urge to not shelter myself but leave myself open, not so much to be a victim, but to dare anyone to try to. i nkow this sounds strange, but i welcome someone to try and victimize me, and see where it gets them, in other words is this like my defense mechanism kicking in or because aqll my childhood i was bullied by anyone and everyone and its my way of saying come on try again.? Third i feel the need to constantly occupy myself with someone, to talk to, to associate with, a minute does not go by i am not chatting online, texting or on my phone, if i dont i feel like i fall into a deep depression. , so does anyone feel like they need constant contact. ? i guess is the best way to describe thi and lastly has no desire whatsoever to have sex with someone, i mean i have urges like the rest of the world but honestly if its once a month, that i say i need sex its amazing Posted on 10/03/12, 11:53 pm
Replies
Your brave man to open up so much and let people in.
Im the opposite to you as in i perfer the company of men all my abusers were men. But i get on better with them. I don\'t feel safe with them when left in a room alone and it takes a long time for me trust them i can count on one hand the amount of ppl i can trust in this world which think is sad for a 35 yr old to say.
I total agree with the need to have contact it like if Im left alone to long my thought only go one way and that\'s not good at all.
Its not strange. I was abused by a man and also assulted by a man. I only have about 5 good friend. But only one of them i consider a true never going anywhere kind of friend. Ironically a male. But it took him years to gain that trust from me. As the other four i trust but i dont if that makes sence. I also cat stand to be in unfamilar places. Freaks me out in my head. And even if i am somewhere i know with my friends i cant be left alone. I will walk to the bathroom with them just so i am not left alone. I was told its some kind of reaction to the trama. (Has a special name that i cant think of)