last nite was intresting i guess u could say. this girl that matt has been friends with for a long time was at my homecomming ball game last nite. i really dont like her. sometimes i do feel like im too possessive of matt. i hate when she talks to him or sits near him. she knows that i dont like her and he knows that she still has a thing for him or something. anyways... after i got done dancing i went up to where he was (and where she was sitting) and she was comming down the bleachers and then stopped to wait for matt. he was standing up and heading down too. i got up ther and i said, "where u going?" and he said lets go watch the other game in the other gym" and i said, "ok. why is she comming with us?" and he said, "im just talking to her." and i was like "ok but first i gotta go get my water bottle, i forgot it." and he said "ok" so while i went to get my drink she was like, "come on" and matt said "im waiting for britt" and she said "just come with me" and he said "no im with brittany and im waiting for her" so then he came back and was like lets go watch the game we were watching earlier. he said he isnt going to talk to her anymore b/c they are fighting. i really hope she leaves us alone now. ugh. i dont like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im glad they are fighting honestly. then later after that happened we were sitting on the floor of the gym in front so we could watch the homecomming people (his best friend and my best freind were in the homecomming court) then in the middle of it he says, "hey im gonna go sit over there" and i snapped. i said, "why? why do u not want to be with me? why do u always want to go everywhere else!" i said al that without thinking at all. but i didnt feel bad till after we left the game. we gotin the car and i asked him if he was mad at me and he said "no it just hurt me when u snapped at me like that. i wasnt expecting u to do that." i told him that i was sorry and i didnt mean to hurt him and i wasnt thinking when i said it and that i just been stressed out lately between dance, my mom (she made me mad on thursday and i was still mad), and not that girl that wont leave him alone, and i had been so anxious and nervous for the past couple of days. i hate to blame my actions on stress and other things but idk why else i snapped at him. i guess i just boiled over a little. i had my pity party this morning. i was sad that i had hurt him and i felt like a horrible girl friend. so i texted my friend and she convinced me that it was ok and that she understands how he must have felt and how i must have felt. so i do feel better now. this morning i woke up and just couldnt really relax. idk how to explain the feeling i had. i just couldnt be relaxed like i am right now. i was ok after i talked to my friend. just had to have someone becides matt to tell me that it was ok i guess. i think thats all of my drama. update on my goal:its like i do good for a while and then i have 3 or 4 bad days. ill get nervous over the silliest things or for no reason. its like PMS! but i no thats not the problem right now (at least i dont think) i dont think im doing too good with kicking out anxiety. but sometimes its like im doing great! this sucks. :(
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Anxiety just sucks plain and simple. I defin know how you feel..it\'s insane feeling so anxious and worrying all the time. I am not quit sure how to kick it out of my life...but I am sure we\'ll figure it out! And I know how you feel about feeling like a bad gf...but please don\'t beat yourself up over it...you are human and that girl was getting on your last nerve. Those things are just normal parts of being in a relationship...you will snap at him and he will snap at you....it feels really bad after....but i always tell myself that it is jsut part of being in a relationship...the key is to not let them become big...if that made any sense. I wish I could explain what I am thinking..but it just never comes out right. Okay anyways hang in there...i hope you\'re having a good weekend!
Yup, I will agree, anxiety does suck! There\'s so often NO explanation for the anxiety we feel, or we are anxious over something ridiculous that we have convinced ourselves is true even though we know it isn\'t.
I think it\'s good that he waited for you though, that he told that girl he wasn\'t going with her, and that you tried to explain to him why you acted like that. Everyone gets snippy once in a while, no one is perfect! But it\'s good that you guys can talk through things
Hey little Britt Britt!! I have to commend Matt for sticking up for y\'alls relationship!! That girl does need to know her place and I think that if she continues to try to weasel her way back in that you should have a conversation in which you tell her that Matt has gone as far and making it known that you two are together. But be nice the first time around with a little bit of a kicker to let her know you mean business but not the possesive kind. Also about the homecoming thing, I think that you should try to remember that he hasn\'t seen a lot of these people and certainly hasn\'t had contact with them like he has had with you. And it will eventually fade since now he is home on the weekends and he\'ll be in a routine where it will be spread out evenly. Right now he has just got to get his fix on seeing and hanging out with everyone!! So don\'t snap just yet!! But I totally understand where you would be upset.
And thank you for your words of encouragement on telling me to go with the flow even though I don\'t like to. Lol!! It did help. But thing I was trying to say is that I am very supportive and try to understand what\'s going on in his life when at the same time I don\'t have something in return like a ring. I try to keep things together when he\'s away and keep him informed and in the loop as much as possible and when he threw the whole trust thing in my face it hurt my feelings. Then it just snow balled into one big shit thing! But anyways!! I love you strawberry!!