yesterday i got 3 letters from matt. the first two were good. the last one wasnt good tho. my dad brought the letters up to my work for me so i could read them. well anyway the third letter was written after he read one of my letters that was sad. i was upset when i wrote it i think. but he kept saying in his letter that i read yesterday "i hate myself for doing this to you. im a bad boyfriend. u deserve better." and he kept putting himself down. i talked to him on the phone after he had written this letter and i know he is feeling better about it now but i still hate that he thinks all that stuff about himself. i wrote back to him this..."matt none of this is your fault. God wanted all this to happen and theres no way we could avoid it. its fate and you cant change it," by the way....if i had stared writing when i first read that letter, my letter would have either been mean or sad or both. im glad i was busy at work and had time to cool off b4 i wrote him back. God seemed to put me at peace or someting. b/c it was easier for me to read that letter the 2nd time around. i do believe in fate and that you cant change what g\God has planned for you but i wish i could know the future sometimes. i have been thinking lately "how does anyone get through life? theres so many choices that you have to make and you never know if they are the right choices." this growing up thing really kinda stinks. :( but do you guys think what i told matt was good? im trying to be strong for him and im gonna try not to send sad letters anymore. or at least hold some of the saddness back so that he doesnt get all upset and write me back a sad letter. im going to try to end that cycle. also im considering maybe not opening anymore letters until after our 1 yr anniversuary (sept. 18) b/c i dont want to be upset on that day. i want it to be as happy as it can be. i dont want to be feeling mad at him or sad or anything like i was feeling for a little while yesterday but i dont think i could do that anyways. what do u all think? i hope everyone has a good day. and i hope i do also.
Replies
Absolutly no more sad letters to him!! You can write them but don\'t send them. Writing is a good way to \'vent\' but he doesn\'t need to be put in that situation. You can tell him you\'re sad but try not to dwell on that in the letters. If you think about it...even if you do tell him your sad and upset and miss him a lot...it doesn\'t change the fact that he can\'t do anything about it. So it jsust puts both of you between a rock and a hard place. BE POSITIVE!! I like the other letter that you\'re writing!! Take care!!!
hey sweetie, i know exactly what you mean about thinking thoughts about how people actually do make it through life. it\'s so crazy what human being can get through! and don\'t lose faith, stay strong! this situation will make you stronger than you would ever expect, not only in your relationship but as an individual. i promise it\'s worth all this hard work. if you ever need to talk, i\'m always here :)