ups and downs

Tonight i went to a therapist it's about time!   i also went to the library and checked out some books on addiction and recovery  I decided it is time to really do some proactive  research and change if I can't get him to change YET I will start with myself I have to get sttronger if I am going to fight the devil and WIN  sitting around feeling sad and depressed is not  going to change anything so at least it is a start to taking care of me and helping Matt . I am so frustrated because I came across someone on the heroin recovery site that i was going to friend request because he had a long time clean and stated he stays on the site to help others and when I scrolled down to post a friend request i saw someone posted that he passed away in April from and overdose. ADDICTION SUCKS!!!!!!!!   I hate this dark horrible cruel suffering world of addiction I despise EVERYTHING about it!  sorry but I needed to get that out. I'm ok just feeling stronger feelings of anger towards the drugs not my son