hmmmm?

this is more or less a vent,or even a sign of life.. considering i have not been on here in awhile.. im doing fine, im self managing my depression, anger, ptsd, etc... ive heard from several people that A medicines can and will at times make the problems worse, and B that i can handle it on my own without medicating.. my psychiatrist even hated putting me on meds... so if that doesnt scream "DONT" then im not sure what will.. but the people ive bonded with and care about dont believe in "big pharma" so im giving it a shot... plus i always had a terrible memory... and all you mentally disabled people out there know that if you miss a dose you usually have to start over... and your body shuts down because it became used to the meds, then freaks out if you start at the dose you were at if you try to regulate it again... so with that being said i have only taken ibuprofen... unfortunately i dont have my allergy meds so they are kicking my ass... then there is the whole getting sick because someone came to work sick and now affected me and two others... thank god today was slow because i went home after an hour... a few days ago i did the same thing, but atleast i lasted two more hours!... but being stubborn (like i am always) i have refused to puke.. its funny though, when i left the first time it was for my typical stomach issues... now its because i had a tiny headache and then i walked in the kitchen and bam migraine, i tried to pull through even asked the manager for ibuprofen it mellowed it out but i still was extremely disoriented by the clashing of dishes and tapping spatulas from bored cooks... (we tend to do annoying noises like tapping, or shit talking, or food fights... occasionally we wave knives around like crazy people hahaha) well i finally ignored the noises but the smell of food was super terrible and made me uneasy... thank god i only grabbed the wrong food from the refrigerator and didnt puke all over the customers food... because seriously burgers made me wanna die... dont even get me on the flipping gravy...  but luckily i didnt... instead i went to the manager all defeated and asked if i could go home.. its not like the guys let me do anything anyways.. apparently if you are working with guys and you are a girl the belittle you... oh and to make it worse i cant reach anything... so of course i get shit for that too... haha oh well i know im a bad ass so they only got to me today ;P but im not feeling well and naturally down because of my issues.. but ill take the rest of tonight/today and sleep it all off ^^... and kick some ass when i get back! another note ive been letting people i actually trust in what has happened in my life... without halfassing the story so they dont judge me... ive actually allowed them in... partially that is XD i still hold my walls high and bricked... i love them... but i have noticed in the "adult world" that there are catty gossiping people still... and you have to tread lightly around people unless you want your dirty laundry aired... oooooo one other thing i have also managed to break my own nose... how you may ask? drinking... dont drink...it is dangerous... i was fine. cause i ate and was walking it off... and then i drank off an aquatinces drink... not realizing it was mostly alcohol... and the last thing i remember was falling and hitting my face... lol oh my lord i woke up maybe like 6 or so hours later in bed with half my costume off because he tried to get the puke off of me...^^ no he didnt touch me... i would know... instead he babied me and made sure i didnt puke in my sleep.. then the following week i re-pierced my lip.. so now i have three lip rings... wish i had 4... i hate unsymmetrical things... hopefully i start writing again and drawing again... i do miss it... so with that being said good night y'all lol.... ill start writing updates here and there...