Thankfully the numbness kicked in again, and I'm just floating along with life once more. I started painting again, for the first time since my sweet Colleen has left. It is more difficult than I expected, and I can only paint for a short while at a time, then I have to stop. Almost like driving a car again, after you've had an accident. I don't try to understand why anymore, I just go with the flow. 

The Lord gave me assurance twice, that it is the right thing to do to move in with my son. I am at peace with it now, and my older daughter has also accepted it. We can now calmly discuss the matter! I am so grateful for this! 

We have strong winds, beautiful clouds and occasional rainfalls this summer. I love it, even the weather is different this year. I enjoy nature, because it makes me feel closer to God, and also closer to my dearest angel, Colleen! I love her and miss her terribly!!

Replies

NoraMc
NoraMc

For me it\'s knitting.... it took a long time to start my knitting again,,, but after my long 4 years,,, knitting is my companion.. love ya!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sending you my love my dearest and lots of hugs. I have been reading and keep trying to motivate myself to pick up my counted cross stitch, but right now I can not. Too much thinking I am guessing. Keep on painting! I can imagine your beautiful Colleen watching her mommy. Hugs Debbie
BahamaSun
BahamaSun

It\'s good you starting to paint it again. Keep it up. I hope all goes well with your move. Sending you lots of love and hugs. Rosa
deleted_user
deleted_user

When you spend an hour, even 15 minutes, \"free\" of agony and doing something that gives you some peace, you learn that this is possible. And slowly, those times lengthen. Then one day, as is happening to me right now, you discover that the horrible heartache, although it will never go away, does not always control you. There will be laughter along with the tears. There will be joy along with the sorrow. God has you by the hand. Follow Him.
MomofJosh
MomofJosh

I am so glad you are at peace with decision about moving. I am also happy you can paint, if only for a short while. Those numb feelings do help at times.
Sending love your way, sweet friend!
deleted_user
deleted_user

Hugs. Keeping you in my prayers. xoxo
Livingjuicy
Livingjuicy

\"I don\'t try to understand anymore and just go with the flow.\" Words of wisdom and sprinkled with healing and vital on this grief path I am finding too.

Grateful that you are at peace about your move and that is coming up soon isn\'t it? I know you said that it would in March.

Paint when you feel the nudge and put the brush down when you\'ve done all that you can. Those brush strokes on the canvas are much like your healing... Ebbs, flows and many pauses in the midst.

Loving care to your precious Colleen and always for you.
XO Joanie