So I thought I'd write a little as I'm not feeling too well and I'm looking for feedback. Anyways, I have found that a lot of my feelings have come from my relationship with my mom. I feel really bad because I have always wanted a close relationship with my mom but I am finding it impossible to get along with her. I've been talking to my dad and some people on DS and so I've kind of put the pieces together. Anyway, I don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to repair damage to our relationship and myself. Basically I am lost. So any feedback, ideas, comments, support, etc would be appreciated. Thanks.
Replies
hi cat,
im sorry about you and your mum,
If things are really difficult and you both know it, maybe you could suggest going to councelling together.
If not ask if she is willing to try an experiement and act as if you are just good freinds for 2 weeks, during which time you will need to do friend things together, like going shopping, going to cafe or films.
agree unless something really serious happens , you will not resume mother/daughter style relationship till the 2 weeks are up.
not sure if you live with your mum, but if your really ill , its worth trying new ways to sort it out.
my suggestion may be impractical for you both ,but i bet if you google \" getting on with mum\" There will be lots of ideas on the net.
i know there are books on the subject, cause i read one.
my mum and i are probably very different though as im lot older and dont see her.
hope you feel bit better soon,
love Alicex
Denise, why don\'t you tell your mom that it\'s been difficult to talk to her lately and it\'s bothering you, and ask her if there\'s a way that you could improve your communications with each other. My daughter is far too young to say something like that to me, but if she did, I would definately hear her out and attempt to empathize with her.
-Mike
my moms alot like that too. it makes it so hard on us. there is a group on here called \"parent troube\" i think thats the name. it seems like a good group to jion if u need more advice.
Hi.. Just reading some of your entries. I love your latest poem! As far as your mom, it depends what she is like. As my mother was unreasonable and would never see it my way, so I pretty much had to change in order to have a somewhat functional relationship with her. This is now almost 10 years of being out of her house though. At home, there was no way to win unless I just did what she wanted, but at 17, that is very difficult, as you have school pressures and friends and so many other things that conflict against probably what your mom wants you to be doing.
So depending on your mom, I am speaking for mine where she was never happy or satisfied with what I did. She pretty much dissapproved of everything I wanted, which was normal at that age an place in my life.
Now, that I am older and have gone through different phases where I was so glad to be free of her, for a couple years there I barely talked to her or saw her.. she really wasn\'t a part of my life. Now, as I have matured and things have changed in our lives, we do have somewhat of a relationship, but as I said previously- I am the one who had to change in order to have it get to this point. Its a very hard thing to do because I have always wished that she would be the mom I could go shopping with and have that close-knit relationship with, however it will never happen. Coming to that realization is disappointing. There are other ways though. I am very close with my oldest sister, so in a way she has been more of a mother to me. I am not sure if you have anyone like that in your life, but sometimes you have to get what you need elsewhere if that person is unable to be what you need..